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The Innocent, The Rogue, and The Intimidator
Hello we are Hilara's muses. We will return you to Adventures In Archeology, This Is Not a Test, and the Andromeda opening very soon. The following tale just captured our fancy so much we decided we just couldn't wait to tell it.
Staring SherK, Rober't and the Sov with a cameo by Aphrodite, and a mystery guest who is up to no good.
*** This story is dedicated to KalliSta, and SherK, who helped inspire it. *****
Sov was in an especially foul mood. He had
planned to be spending tonight pursuing intriguing bed sports with Freya. Instead he had
drawn guard duty over HerKdom. "Well Olympus help any intruders that dare cross my
path tonight." This thought brought a rare half smile to his face.
He loved it here in HerKdom because of Freya and the other amorous amazons. The only
problem was that Mr. Goodie Two Shoes, HerKuleS, the ever noble, King Kull, and the newly
arrived valiant, Dylan Hunt liked to keep things nice and peaceful in the land. "Nice
and peaceful," irritated the Sov beyond measure. It had been a long time
since he'd engaged in any real form a malevolent mayhem. The Sov was spoiling for a fight.
Just then he heard noises coming from the nearby beach. "An Intruder. Perhaps tonight
isn't a total loss after all." Sov moved with stealth hiding in the tall grass that
bordered the sand. The element of surprise would be his or so he thought.
It was his turn to be surprised when he was greeted with strange sounds. What he heard was
not an invading army but the sorrowful sobbing of a woman. Sov's blood began to boil even
more. If someone had hurt one of the amazons, he would rip their esophagus out, and feed
it to his pet kitten at home. It was one ferocious kitty.
As he drew closer he realized it wasn't one of the amazons but something seemed very
familiar about the feminine creature ahead. Of course it was Aphrodite. Not the one he
knew but the one of this realm.
Sov lowered his weapon but kept it at his side just in case. This might be some form of a
trick. He was just about to step forward and reveal himself to Aphrodite when he heard a
footstep behind him. Sov immediately went back into warrior mode. He was about to strike a
deadly blow with his axe, when he heard an accented whisper, "Do not attack, it is I,
Rober't. I was coming to relieve you. I've exhausted Hilara. She is fast asleep, and I
thought I would spare all of us, your ill temper tomorrow, by giving you some time to
spend with Freya tonight."
Sov growled low in his throat. He hated having to thank anyone but he reluctantly,
whispered back, "That is decent of you Frenchman, but as you can see there is a
situation at hand. He gestured toward Aphrodite.
"Then let us go see what troubles the lady so," Rober't offered.
" I do not need back up to handle a woman," Sov sneered.
"Ah, but she is no ordinary woman, she is a goddesses with powers, and I am already
here."
"So be it. But be warned, do not get in my way."
"I would not dream of such a thing," Rober't assured him.
The two men approached Aphrodite carefully so as not to startle her. She was sitting in
the fetal style in her clamshell. Rober't touched her shoulder softly. Suddenly Dite leapt
to her feet and threw her arms around both Sov and Rober't, and began to cry even harder.
"It's like totally a bummer, a downer to end all downers, one of the worst disasters
of our time."
Sov and Rober't looked at each other and shrugged. "Your favorite designer got run
over by a chariot?" Sov queried. Aphrodite shook her head. Robert ventured a guess:
"You maxed out all your credit cards at the mall, and Hesphestaus won't let you get
another one?" "Good guesses guys, but you're both wrong, completely and utterly
wrong. It's like a 100 percent worse than both of those things. Although come to think of
it they would both be pretty terrible."
"Spare us the dramatics, and just tell us what is wrong then," Sov demanded
loosing what little he had of his patience. Aphrodite got a mutinous look on her face. She
started to lift her hand, no doubt to lobby a nasty electrical shock through the
Sovereign. As much as Rober't would have liked to see that, he was too curious about what
was going on to allow for such a delay. Instead he grabbed Aphrodite's hand and kissed it.
"Please forgive the rudeness of my associate, dearest goddess. He is shall we say
`frustrated' because he has not yet had his chance for amore this evening." Dite
looked mollified. "Well he better get used to it, because unless something changes
quickly, nobody will be getting any for an eternity."
Sov and Rober't exchanged horrified looks.
"You certainly have our attention," Sov
grunted.
"Ouì Madame, do go on."
"Someone stole the tools of the muses of Olympus. The quill and journal of poetry,
and literature, the lyre and harp of music, and the canvas and brushes of painting."
"And this means the end of bedsport how?" Sov asked impatiently.
"Romance doesn't just happen," Aphrodite explained. Exquisite passion is
inspired by the arts, and without their aide, I have no idea of how I'm going to do my
job. And since I'm the goddess of love that means no more nooky for anyone sweetums."
"Sweetums?" the Sov practically choked. "Never call me that again or you
shall regret it. Now I'm very sorry for your troubles but I personally have no need of
your services. I can spark my Freya's passions without anyone's assistance. So your
problems are of no concern to me. Goodbye."
He started to walk away. Rober't and Aphrodite shook their heads at Sov's clueless ness.
"Well as long as you do not have anything against disappearing into a vast dark
abyss, then by all means don't let us stop you from leaving," Rober't called out to
the Sov.
Sov came to a stop and then slowly and deliberately turned to face them. What are you
prattling on about Frenchman? And this better be good or Hilara will be attending your
funeral services."
"Have you not surmised that you, I, and all the other alphas owe our very existence
to the muses. If they are unable to use the tools of their trades to ignite the
imaginations of our favorite amazons, then poof we will cease to exist."
"Is what he says true?" Sov asked Aphrodite.
"Sure as shooting sunshine," Dite replied. A grimace crossed the Sov's handsome
face. She just laughed and stuck out her tongue at him. "The amazons will go back to
reality and you'll be stuck between worlds again with no way out ever."
"Who has committed this vile act? They will know the full measure of my wrath. First
I will rip off their left le."
"We get the idea," Aphrodite interrupted. So should I take this as a sign you
are willing to undertake the mission of retrieving the muses instruments?"
"You catch on quickly," he said sarcastically.
"You know I really should teach you some manners, but there isn't enough spare
moments in a lifetime."
" I should warn you now that I refuse to ask for the help of you're saintly brother.
If we do things my way quick and bloody, the muses will be back in business before the
next sunrise. He would just get in my way," Sov said ignoring her.
"So don't ask HerK," but you're definitely going to need help. I don't know who
stole these precious items but I do know where they are hidden. To retrieve them from
there you are going to need the services of someone very clever, someone who knows both
the delicate art of both persuasion and pilfering." Dite said winking at Rober't.
Rober't took her hand in his and placed a gentle kiss upon it. You need not even ask,
dearest goddess. I am at your service."
Sov titled his head mockingly. "Are you through with your sickening drivel?"
"Some of us know the value of paying due tribute to the lady of love," Rober't
informed him.
"Whatever. Let's just get moving. Tell us where these items have been taken, and we
will be on our way," Sov commanded Aphrodite.
"Not so fast," Aphrodite said holding up her hand.
"What now?" Sov shouted.
"Your team is not complete," she informed him. You will need the services of
someone who is sweet and purely pure of heart to carry home the muses' tools. Otherwise
they will loose their charmed nature and be of no use to anyone. And while Rober't is a
dear heart he is not exactly a complete innocent," Dite giggled.
"Alas, this is sad but true," Rober't agreed with a devilish grin.
"Well don't look at me," Sov barked.
"Don't worry we weren't," they replied in unison.
"But who can we get," Sov queried. Even the great HerKuleS is not completely
devoid of darkness of spirit."
"Ah, I think we know someone who may fit the shoe," Rober't replied.
"Follow me."
SHerk sat at the kitchen table in his favorite
Bugs Bunny pajamas and his Sylvester slippers. Kal was upstairs asleep and he had snuck
down to eat some Captain Crunch and drink some orange juice. It was late at night but
SHerk was very hungry and thirsty. Kal always said he had a big appetite.
He was just about to take a drink of his juice when the front door to the house was pushed
open hard. SHerk thought the wood was going to crack. He was so scared he dropped his
orange juice. The glass crashed and shattered and an orange juice river began winding it's
way across the floor. He'd also gotten his P.J.'s wet. Poor SHerk was so upset he was
shaking.
Just then Sov stormed into the kitchen, followed by Rober't and Aphrodite. SHerk was happy
to see Rober't and Dite. They were his friends. He wasn't so glad to see the Sov.
"Go upstairs, get some manly clothes on and come with us," Sov demanded.
SHerk frowned. "Kal said I couldn't hang around you anymore, Sov. She said you always
get me into trouble."
"See I told you this was a bad idea, Rober't," Sov insisted. He will be of no
use to us. I knew I should do the thinking for myself."
"As if," Dite shot back. She went over and draped a protective arm around SHerk.
"Now normally I would tell you, you should listen to Kal. Spending too much time
around Mr. Bad Vibes is definitely an unhealthy choice. "But I'm afraid this is an
emergency, sweetie pie and only you can help us."
Sov looked furious. Nobody cared.
"You need my help?" SHerk asked. There was a mixture of surprise and pride in
his tone.
"In a matter of utmost importance," Rober't assured him.
"Well, I'd like to help out but I'm not sure Kal would like it, if I didn't listen to
her warning about the Sov. She is already going to be unhappy with me because I broke one
of her best glasses."
"If Kal knew how key your job was going to be in this mission, I'm sure she'd want
you to come with us," Aphrodite assured him. "But it's best we don't wake her
now. We will surprise her with the news of you're heroic deeds as soon as you return home.
Now tiptoe upstairs and change your clothes. Be really quiet. And about the glass, don't
give it another thought. Aphrodite waved her hand and magically the shards reassembled
into a glass, and landed gently back on the table. The orange juice disappeared from the
floor, and SHerk's P.J.s were dry again."
"Wow. Thank you, Aphrodite. That was so cool."
"I know." She smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. SHerK beamed.
He raced quickly but quietly up the stairs.
A few moments later he rejoined them. He was dressed in his twin HerK outfit. He had
something in his hand, and he proudly showed it to Rober't. I thought I'd better take the
sword you gave me on the mission," he said.
"You gave him a weapon?" Dite and Sov echoed in shocked unison.
"Shh, you'll wake KalliSta," he warned. He motioned for them to step slightly
away from SHerK. "Besides it's plastic," he whispered.
"Are we ready now?" Sov asked .
"I'm ready," said SHerk eagerly.
"As ready as I'll ever be," Rober't answered.
"Good. Let's get this show on the road," Aphrodite said. She waved her hand, and
they all vanished from the room.
One minute Iolaus was snuggled like a spoon around Cas in bed. The next he was standing
fully clothed in the living room in front of Sov, Aphrodite, SHerk, and Rober't. He wasn't
too happy about his change of circumstances. "What do all of you want or don't I want
to know?"
"You need to get on guard duty now?' Sov informed him.
"No way! You guys are always trying to get me to cover your shifts, and I'm not going
to do it anymore. No more Mr. Nice Guy. I have my own love life to think about you
know."
Sov stomped over to him and grabbed Iolaus by the throat. He easily lifted him off the
ground. You will do as I say or your love life will be the last of your concerns."
"Put Iolaus down now you big gal loot or I'll damage your equipment, codpiece or no
codpiece," Aphrodite warned.
Sov dropped Iolaus in a heap on the floor. He started to make a move towards Aphrodite.
In a flash Rober't, jumped in front of Aphrodite with his sword drawn. Iolaus got quickly
to his feet and joined Rober't in protecting her from the Sov. SHerk ran to their side as
well and bravely waved his plastic sword at the Sov.
"Thanks cutie, cuddle bunny, and curly," Dite said. She ruffled each one's hair
with her hands.
"You're welcome," Iolaus said. He was grinning like a love struck schoolboy. He
knew Dite was a little flaky, she could also be trouble, and she was definitely committed
to Hesphestaus. And Iolaus himself was dedicated to the amazons, but she still was a
beautiful woman, and he was still a pushover for one.
"This is getting us no where," Rober't sighed.
"Then tell her to quit calling me names and threatening my manhood. She's really
getting on my nerves," Sov said testily.
"Quit acting like a school yard bully then, and let's concentrate on the
mission," was Robert's response.
"Mission what mission?" Iolaus asked suspiciously. "What are the four of
you up to? I think I should contact Herk."
"Please don't," Aphrodite begged. She batted her eyelashes at him.
"And why shouldn't I?"
"Believe it or not, it is a specialized mission that only this particular team is
qualified to complete."
"I don't know," Iolaus said wavering. I still think I should let HerK know that
something suspicious is going on."
If you don't, I'll promise you, you will have my
gratitude for life, and having a goddess in your debt can be a very good thing. Plus I
will get Artemis to write a whole new book of hunter's tricks that will be just for
you."
"All right, all right. I'll take over guard duty and keep quiet for now but if
anything gets weirder than normal around here, you will have to answer to Herk in the
end."
"Mercĩ, Iolaus," Rober't said.
"I just hope I don't regret this," Iolaus sighed.
"Come on curly. We will give you a ride to your post," Dite said. Once again she
used her magic and they all disappeared.
Once they had dropped Iolaus off at his guard
post, the team stood at the edge of a foreboding forest. Aphrodite snapped her fingers.
Her outfit immediately changed to her black leather jumpsuit. Despite his best efforts the
Sov could not suppress his wolf whistle. "That was really neat," SHerk shouted.
He clapped his hands excitedly.
Rober't was less enthusiastic. "Just what do you think you are doing that you needed
to change?"
"I'm coming with you," she offered.
"No you are not," he replied.
"And why not, because I'm a woman? I'm surprised at you. I didn't have you figured
for a male chauvinist."
"That's because I am not", he insisted. You are not coming with us because we
don't know what we are facing and as you pointed out before you are the goddess of love.
The world cannot survive without love. You are too important to be risked," Robert
said seriously.
"Yeah! What he just said, Aphrodite," SHerk added.
"Chivalry isn't dead. You two are just so sweet to be thinking of my safety. If it
means that much to you, I'll stay behind then."
"I think I am going to loose my dinner," was Sov's comment. "If she doesn't
come with us, how are we supposed to find our way to the items in question?"
"She can draw us a map," SHerk offered proudly.
"One map coming up," Aphrodite replied. In a flash a rolled map appeared in her
hands. She gave it to Rober't.
"The forest is enchanted and not in a good way. There will be obstacles and traps all
over the place," she warned them.
As if to punctuate her words a loud, odd shriek issued from somewhere deep within the
thick wall of trees. SHerk shivered. "I want to help, but I'm scared Aphrodite. I'm
not sure I can do this."
"Just stay close to Rober't and do what ever he tells you. You will protect him won't
you Rober't?"
"Certainly. SHerk is my friend. Besides I would not want to tangle with KalliSta, the
other amazons, or you for that matter, if anything happened to him."
"You be careful too," Aphrodite said. She gave both he and SHerk a kiss on the
cheek for good luck
"You too, Mr. Meany," she said to Sov. She blew him a kiss. He grunted back.
"Go with the gods," Dite offered. Then she was gone.
"At least we will be spared her never ending commentary," Sov remarked. He
turned towards the woods, and began clearing a path through the thick brush with his axe.
"Hold on to this for me SHerk," Rober't said as he handed the map over to his
friend. "And be really careful not to loose it."
SHerk vowed that he would guard it with his life. Rober't drew his sword once more and
began helping the Sov.
Slowly but surely they started down the path that would lead them on a completely unknown
and potentially life threatening journey. All three of them knew, however, that there was
no turning back. Life without the amazons would be a life without meaning.They would do
what ever it took to ensure the survival of HerKdom.
Even if it meant risking their own.
The Sov, Rober't, and SHerK were now deep into the forest. They stopped to take a drink from their canteens. Rober't took the map from SherK and studied it for a moment."It looks like we turn right at the pine tree with an ax embedded in it," he said.
"How did the axe get there?" SHerK asked.
"I don't know. Maybe we should consult our tour guide?" Sov sneered.
"But we don't have a tour guide," SHerK remarked.
"Give the boy a gold star," the Sov snickered.
"Thank you. I like gold stars almost as much as I like bows," SHerK said to the
Sov.
"The Sov was being sarcastic," Rober't informed SHerK.
"What does sarcastic mean?"
"It means the Sovereign is being nasty."
"Oh. That means he is just being his normal self," SHerK replied, nodding his
head.
"Exactly," Robert answered.
Sov threw his hands up in the air and stalked farther down the path. He didn't even use
his blade to cut the bramble out of his way. He didn't need too. His mere stride ripped it
to shreds. "Why am I forced to work with such incompetents?"
Rober't just laughed. "Poor Sov, he has incredible delusions of grandeur. It is a
wonder his head still fits on his body." He put an arm around SHerK's shoulder and
said, "I suppose we had better follow him. I do not think Freya would think to kindly
of us, if we were to let him get lost in the woods."
They quickly caught up with the Sovereign, and the three continued walking in silence for
a while. They continually had to wipe the sweat from their brow. It was hotter than
Tartarus. It wasn't long before they found the tree they were looking for.
Sov was the one to break the silence. "It looks like the lovely goddess doesn't know
what she is talking about. I'm not surprised. She must have fried her brains with her
curling iron. I haven't seen one trap to destroy or one enemy to pulverize. It's a shame
too because I was really looking forward to pounding something."
As if on cue, five very huge, and very ugly monsters jumped onto the path up ahead. They
looked like King Kong on steroids and they breathed fire. They lumbered towards the three
Alphas with murder in their big red eyes.
"You just had to tempt those dear ladies of fate! Didn't you? Now what do we
do?" Rober't shouted.
Suddenly a little squirrel popped its head out of a hole in the tree just above the axe.
"The Mortavas can be destroyed with the axe," he informed the men.
"Hey look Rober't, a talking squirrel. Isn't he cute?" SHerK asked excitedly.
"He is adorable, but right now my attention is on those big hairy things coming ever
nearer."
"You say they can be destroyed with the axe?" Sov asked the squirrel. He started
rubbing his hands together and a wicked glint lit his eyes.
"Well if you can believe the legends. Of course know one has ever been strong enough
to get the axe unstuck from the tree," the squirrel answered.
The Sovereign chortled with delight. "Step back," he ordered Rober't and SHerK.
"I'm about to make history."
He braced one foot against the trunk of the tree and placed his hands around the axe. He
gave a mighty heave and it immediately gave way. Sov nearly fell over backwards. He
quickly regained his footing and gave Rober't and SHerK, a look that warned them not to
comment on his seeming clumsiness.
The Mortavas were now upon them. One headed straight for SHerK but he was quicker and
jumped away from the hand that was reaching towards him. He stuck out his foot and tripped
the lumbering beast.
"Nice work, SHerK," Rober't yelled.
"I saw HerK do it once," SHerK shouted back. He smiled, clearly pleased with
himself.
Sov stepped out and quickly brought the axe down upon the fallen Mortavas. It vanished
into the ground below.
"Oh yeah," the Sov cried out. "I'm going to love this."
Rober't was the target of the next one. He felt the back of his neck being singed by the
monster. Rober't fell to his knees and curled himself up into a ball. He tumbled away from
his enemy. "Stop, drop, and roll. Who knew watching those old episodes of `Emergency'
would could in so handy," he said to himself. He jumped to his feet and climbed up
the tree. He latched onto a vine and swung out just like Tarzan. He hit the Mortavas with
stunning force and accuracy. This one hit the ground too and the Sov once again finished
the deed.
The three remaining Mortavas were enraged that their brothers had fallen. They let out
terrifying bellows, and all three began to turn towards the Sovereign. No one would have
blamed the Sov, if he had started shaking in his boots. He just calmly stood his ground.
Not a muscle so much as quivered.
When they were almost on top of him, the Sovereign let out a mighty roar. He swung the axe
around his head and let it fly. It went high up into the sky then doubled back like a
boomerang. It neatly felled the three remaining Mortavas.
SHerK applauded wildly.
Rober't asked, "Are you through yet?"
Sov answered: "To quote one of your Hilara's favorite movie characters, "I
haven't even started yet." He laughed like a hyena and then started walking again.
"Are you two stooges coming? " he asked without glancing back.
SHerK asked, "Can I be Curly?" as they resumed their journey?
The fight with the Mortavas had left Rober't and
SHerK a little on edge. It had them wondering what they would encounter next in this
enchanted forest. Sov, however, was rubbing his hands together eagerly. He was looking
forward to another opportunity to wreak more havoc.
SHerK was the first to spot the yellow stone, which was the next landmark on their map.
"Good work, SHerK," Rober't said. We must turn left here then walk another mile.
That will lead us to the gate of a fortress. According to Aphrodite's instructions we must
obtain the key to unlock it. Unfortunately she does not say where the key can be
found. Sov snickered. "The goddess of ditz strikes again."
"You shouldn't be calling Aphrodite mean names," SHerK scolded him.
"What are you going to do about it tell the teacher on me?" Sov asked snidely.
"No but I'm willing to bet Hesphestaus wouldn't be too fond of you calling his
snookums a ditz," Rober't responded. Imagine what kind of weapon he could conjure up
to show you his displeasure."
Sov shrugged and yawned. "I'm shaking in my boots," he said in mock horror.
He pushed Rober't and SHerK out of his way and took the lead. " To quote Stephanie
Tanner, `how rude'," SHerK shouted.
"I see you've been watching "Full House" reruns again," Rober't said
to his friend. SHerK nodded.
A short time later they found themselves at the gate. They looked for the key for several
minutes without much luck. "It doesn't seem to be anywhere," Rober't sighed in
frustration.
"Step aside," the Sov instructed. I'll kick it in. He lifted one well- muscled
leg and gave the gate a powerful kick. Nothing happened. Sov snarled. Rober't and SHerK
chuckled.
Suddenly a screechy annoying voice said, "You won't get in that way, big boy! The
only way in is the key and we've got it."
A chorus of cackles greeted that statement. Standing before the adventurers were three of
the strangest creatures they had ever seen. They had the ears of Prince Charles, the nose
of Jimmy Durante, and bug eyes like the ones Xener had when staring at her Chakram. They
were wearing skirts made from dried up brown leaves.
"They're horrendous," Sov commented. Rober't stomped on the Sovereign's foot.
"Don't blow this," Rober't
warned. "Step aside and let me handle this."
The Sov looked like he wanted to smack Rober't but reluctantly he moved back.
"Ladies, what could we do to persuade you to lend us that key?"
"You're sure some handsome fellows, but we aren't interested in being wooed,"
Hilda, who was apparently the leader, said.
"So the great French lover has lost his touch," the Sov whispered.
"That's not what Hilara says," SHerK replied. I heard her telling KalliSta and
Freya that Rober't has the most magical fingers ever."
Rober't looked over at SHerK. "She really said that?
SHerK nodded and a big smile lit Robert's face. "Why of course she would say
that," he said confidently.
"Quit strutting around like a prize rooster, and get that key, or your fingers won't
be walking over Hilara or anyone else," Sov reminded him.
"There must be something we could offer you ladies?" Rober't said turning on his
charm full force.
"Well we did swear an oath to protect the key, but we don't care much for the person
we made it too do we Zinia and Genella?" Hilda asked.
"Don't like the person at all," Genella growled. "But I do like those fancy
buttons on that one's vest," she said pointing to Rober't. He quickly ripped all of
them off and said, "they are yours, dear lady."
"And I like that purple polkadotted bow, that one has," Zinia said nodding
towards SHerK. SHerK didn't look too happy about having to give up one of his bows.
"KalliSta gave me this for my birthday," he said sadly.
Rober't put a comforting arm around SHerK's shoulder. I'm sure KalliSta will understand
that you surrendered it for a good cause. Besides I know for a fact that Hilara just got
in a large shipment of bows at Sorbomart, and you and KalliSta can have lots of fun
picking out a new one.
"Okay!" "You can have my bow", SHerK said as he took it off and handed
it to Zinia. "Thanks," she clucked.
"Take good care of it," SHerK told her.
"Now its my turn," Hilda said rubbing her hands together with glee. Hand over
that gauntlet on your left arm, bad boy," Sov snarled like a lion but did as asked.
Hilda gave them a smile or at least an imitation of one.
"Nice doing business with you boys. She handed Rober't a golden key. "Just be
careful in there. If you think the Mortavas and we were bad, you haven't seen anything
yet," she warned and with that she, Zinia, and Genella vanished.
"I wonder just how hideous a being we will be up against now?" Robert pondered
aloud
"Bring it on," Sov shouted beating his chest.
The lock in the gate was quite rusty. Robert's
fingers were quite talented, however, and he was able to ease the key in just the right
way, and the gate swung open wide. A pleased smile crossed his face.
He gestured for SHerK and the Sovereign to precede him.
SHerK turned around and said "Robert', " I don't really think we want to
go in there."
The Sovereign grabbed SHerK by the collar of his vest and set him aside. He moved inside
the gate.
"Hmm," the Sov remarked. "This is gloomy even by my standards."
Robert' took just a few moments to reassure SHerK, then they moved to join the Sovereign.
He was right. Only gloomy wasn't adequate enough to describe the scene before them. There
were severely ominous clouds overhead, and barely any light seeped through. The long
grasses to each side of them were brown and brittle. In front of them lay a single narrow
path.
The men knew they had no choice but to follow it wherever it would lead them. Robert',
SHerK, and the Sov had come prepared with the modern torches their amazons called
flashlights. They turned them on and began walking. Dark hideous birds occasionally
swooped towards them but luckily didn't launch an all out attack.
As they progressed the path began to grow steeper. Eventually a high mountain came into
view. There was an old castle perched upon a precarious cliff. "Do you think
Count Dracula lives there?" SHerK
asked with a little tremor in his voice.
" Count Dracula is a myth, simpleton," the Sov muttered.
"Oh yeah. Well they said Hercules was a myth, and we know he isn't, so there. And
don't call me names."
"He has you there," Rober't pointed out to Sov. "But fortunately SHerK I
don't think any blood suckers live up there, at least I hope not. I've been watching that
show "Port Charles," with Hilara, and
those vampires are pretty hard to get rid of.
"Not for me. I can defeat anything," the Sov said confidently. He jumped a mile,
and grabbed his neck, however, when Rober't made a hissing sound close to his ear.
As Robert' and SHerK moved ahead of
him, he made a fist behind their backs. "One of these days," he vowed.
It was a long and arduous climb up the mountain but eventually our heroes made it to the
castle without further incidence.
There were guards at the castle door of course, but they were no match for the combined
strength of Sov, Robert' and SHerK. Once inside they weren't sure which way to turn
but suddenly alt. Ares
appeared in front of them.
The Sovereign groaned. "Is there no end to the torture I've been forced to endure on
this mission?"
A smirk crossed alt. Ares face. "I assure you, it's equally unpleasant to see you,
Mr. Grim Jeans, but oh the things I'll do to ensure everything remains a love thang. So
when my fellow love bearing deity, Dite, told me you were on a mission to save the
instruments of the muses, and asked me to lend a hand, I said natch girlfriend. Of course
I made her promise she'd share her recipe for Love Potion #9. My last batch didn't turn
out so well."
Robert' tried to get alt. Ares back on track without hurting his feelings. They all knew
how sensitive he could get: "I'm sure your recipe wasn't off by that much, and that
Dite will help you whip up the perfect soup de amour next time. I'm equally certain you've
come up with the perfect way to help us?"
"Why thank you. I always knew that you and your alt. Chivalrous Robert' were true
gentleman. Unlike some people I know," he said with a pointed look at Sov. "Just
because you are so nice, I'm going to
send you some seductive satin sheets from my own personal mill, and SHerK I will do the
same for you. I'll even send some to you, oh grouchy one, simply because your Freya is so
lovely. The ladies will love them. Now back to the topic at hand. I did some
scouting around for you. You need to walk down this long hallway here, and then turn
right, then you go down that hallway till the end, then turn left, then at the next
hallway you turn right again."
"I'm getting dizzy already," SHerK said.
"I could make a comment here, but I won't, it's just too easy," Sov whispered.
He jumped when he was zapped with a minor electric shock. He gave alt. Ares a murderous
look.
Alt. Ares merely laughed. "Life is so much fun since you lost the Hind's blood. Now I
can make you play nice."
"I still have my fists you little wor.."
SHerK stepped forward this time. "Alt. Ares, thank you for zapping the Sov for me,
but I know to just ignore him when he says mean things, and you should too. Now could you
just finish telling us the
directions?
"Well of course my friend. After you take that last turn I told you about, you will
come to a set of big doors at the end of that hallway. The instruments of the muses are
behind those doors along with the cretin who took them.
"Can you help us get them back?" SHerK said.
"I'm sorry. I'm afraid I am going to have to leave that up to you three. There is
bound to be unpleasantness, and being surrounded by too much of it, just completely throws
off my karma," alt. Ares replied.
"Well, I'd like to throw more than your karma off," Sov snarled.
"Oh just chill, I'm out of here," alt. Ares replied. There was a puff of smoke
and he was gone.
Rober't, Sov, and SHerK followed the directions the god of love had given them. It turns
out SHerK was right. They were a little dizzying. They soon, however, saw the set of doors
alt. Ares had mentioned. There were a few more guards ahead of them. The heroes stood just
out of site for a few moments. They regained their bearings, and developed their plan.
Sov and Rober't quickly sprung into action. In no time they had the guards flying through
the air. SHerK gave a perfect high-flying kick to the door. It flew open. The
dynamic trio entered the room
cautiously. Its walls glittered with gold and there were steps that led up to a large
thrown covered in tacky red chintz. There was also a marble white dais, on which sat a
glass display case. Inside the
case were the instruments of the muses.
At the window stood the culprit. She was dressed in a tight red leather halter and a
matching red leather mini skirt. Apparently she was attempting to look tempting but she
did nothing for our trio. Her back was to them but her short strawberry blonde hairdo gave
her away. It was none other than "Gaggy."
She swung around and quickly grabbed her fighting staff. The Sov moved even faster. He
grabbed the staff out of her hand, with a move any action hero would envy, and simply
split it in half. Then he
grabbed Gabrielle and wrapped one arm around her neck. Effectively imprisoning her.
Not even your precious Xener could beat me, little missy," he assured her.
Gaggy tried to squirm in his arms but to no avail. "Fight me," Sov said.
"But I guarantee you won't enjoy it because I don't enjoy you. You know you may look
like the Executioner in my world, but even she has more personality than you, you annoying
little mouse."
"Why did you do it?" Robert asked. Why did you steal the instruments of the
muses?"
"Because I couldn't have all these people still spreading tales of the legendary
Hercules, and all of you Alphas, while my beloved Xena lays dead, the memory of her
languishing, all but forgotten."
The Sovereign laughed. "Get used to it babe. We will continue to love, battle, and
save, while Xener stays forever cold in her grave. "Add poet to my skills," he
said with a maniacal laugh.
"Is that the only reason you took it, to ensure Xener's memory didn't fade
away?" SHerK asked.
"Isn't that enough?" Gaggy asked.
Sov, SHerK, and Rober't looked at each other, and then Rober't answered for them,
"No, we do not think so."
"Alright I admit that was only part of it. The other reason is because, well you
know, I've always wanted to be a bard, and all the amazons in Sorboland write so much
better than me, and it's just not
fair, I tell you. Their talent should have been mine. All mine."
"Ah, a selfish and deluded dream, but now we've put an end to your scheme,"
SHerK remarked.
"It must be the nearness to the muses tools, it makes us rhyming fools, Rober't
remarked laughing.
Gabby faced mugged like a spoiled selfish brat. "Sure, they work for you guys, but
they did nothing for me." "Well I wouldn't celebrate just yet. I tricked one of
the muses into putting them into that
case, but if someone with less than a pure heart and soul tries to touch them, they'll
loose their power forever. If I'm not mistaken, dear Sovereign, you were, and still
sometimes are a psychopathic
dictator."
"Flattery won't get you anywhere with me," the Sov remarked. A purely evil smirk
lit up his face. It would have made the Grinch refreeze.
"And you, Robert', you've been a thief, a
cad, a con artist. Even you cannot be sure your motives will remain heroic forever."
Then she turned to SHerK. "I suppose you think he is your secret weapon but even he
almost let his jealousy kill Atalanta, Hercules, Salmoneous, and the rest of that village.
"Ah, but this was only because he was being manipulated by Discord. In the end he
chose to save Atalanta, and do the noble thing. All he wanted to do from the beginning was
find true love." Robert' reminded Gaggy. I believe his heart remains pure."
"But can you be sure?" Gaggy asked. Remember the power of the muses can be lost
forever if you're wrong."
" He's not wrong, Gaggy," SHerK shouted. Everyone looked at him, clearly
surprised by his outburst. Undaunted, he continued: "Honest, unselfish love makes any
heart pure. Like the love I have for
KalliSta, and Sov has for Freya, and Robert' has for Hilara. That's why I think anyone of
us three could carry the gifts of the muses back home. The muses tools would never work
for you, Gaggy, because you are the one who has a selfish need to prove you are the
best bard, who you would never be by the way."
SHerK moved toward the glass case with confidence. He lifted it off carefully. Before he
touched the tools, he reached into his sack and pulled out a picture of KalliSta. He
kissed it, and then carefully
tucked it near his heart. SHerK then picked up the quill and the journal of poetry.
Everyone watched with baited breath as he opened the journal and began to write,
"KalliSta is my reason for living,
she is so beautiful, sweet, and giving."
He held out the lyre of music to Rober't. Here you try, Rober't. " I don't know,
SHerK. What if you are wrong? We would not want to save poetry just to loose music,"
Rober't said. "No you can do it, honest Rober't," SHerK replied. He handed
Rober't a picture of Hilara. I brought this for you just in case. He once again motioned
for his friend to take the lyre.
As SHerK had done, Rober't took the picture of Hilara first, touched his lips to it, and
then tucked it close to his heart too. He took the lyre and began to play a beautiful
melody. When he was finished
he smiled. It reminds me of her laugh," he told SHerK. "Yes, it does me too. See
I told you, Robert," SHerK said. "Now it's your turn, Sov."
Gaggy let out a gleeful whoop. "Well at least we know art will be history."
Sov tightened his hold on Gaggy. "You carry the brush home too," he said to
SHerK. "Just to be safe."
"No, Sov. You can do it. Let Rober't take over holding our prisoner and just try
Sov," SHerK pleaded. Rober't quickly moved to relieve Sov of his duty.
SHerK handed Sov a photograph of Freya. Her smile beamed its way into the Sovereign's
heart. He clutched it closed to his chest, and then as Rober't and SHerK had done, he
kissed it, and put it inside his vest. He picked up the paint- brush. SHerK had found a
piece of canvas as well, and he handed it to the Sovereign, who began to paint. In a few
moments he was able to capture Freya's beauty
perfectly. "I just love the color of her eyes," the Sovereign whispered as he
gazed upon his creation.
"No," Gaggy screamed, and tried one last lunge for the objects but Roberts' grip
was firm.
Alt. Ares suddenly reappeared before him. He applauded widely. Once again love conquers
all," he said happily. He put an arm around the Sov and SHerK.
"Don't push it." Sov warned.
"Forgive me. I just lost it there for a moment. Well I just dropped into give you a
special pouch to carry the tools home in. Can't have them getting damaged on the ride back
home."
"You should give us three pouches, so we each could carry one home," SHerK said.
"We did this together."
"No, SHerK, that is okay. You're the one who was smart enough to bring along those
pictures of our lady loves to remind us what we were fighting for. I think you've earned
the right to carry home the
tools," Rober't said gently. Sov nodded his consent too. "You did well this
time," he admitted grudgingly. SHerK looked very proud and carefully packed away each
of the precious tools.
"But we are not out of danger yet. We have got to make our way back through that
enchanted forest with our prisoner in tow," Sov said.
"Pishaw," alt. Ares, said. You heroes
have done so much for the cause of love; allow me to do the honors." He waved his
hand and SHerK, Sov, Robert' and Gaggy disappeared in a white cloud. They soon found
themselves back on the edge of the forest on the HerKdom side. Right where they had begun
their journey.
Aphrodite and Zeus were waiting for them. They thanked Robert', SHerK, and Sov profusely.
Then Zeus turned his attention to Gaggy. "You, young lady are going to learn it's not
nice to mess with
the King of the gods, the Olympians, my son Hercules, the Alphas, or the amazons. Come to
think of it, especially the amazons. Their beauty, their talent, their laughter never
ceases to delight me.
You'll pay dearly for trying to steal from them. Come with me. Zeus took custody of Gabby
from Robert'. Before he left Zeus turned to Aphrodite. Make sure they are well rewarded,
my daughter. He said giving her a kiss on the head. "Oh, I will father, I will,"
Aprhodite said.
"You came through big time, guys," she said. I'm so proud of each of you; even
you Mr. Not So Meanie after all." Aphrodite gave each of them a big kiss. "Now
for the rest of your reward. I'm going to make up for the time you lost. I am creating a
special night in time that is just for you and your ladies. No interruptions, no villains
to fight, just a chance to bask in the light of love.
She waved her hands and suddenly the heroes found themselves back in each of their own
beds with the women who had made their hearts and lives truly blessed. Sov wrapped his
strong protective arms around Freya, Rober't gently stroked Hilara's hair, and SHerK
planted a soft kiss on KalliSta's lips. Each of the lady's awakened to truly welcome their
heroes home.
A hauntingly beautiful melody drifted through the enchanted night air around them.
"So keep me suspended in time with you, don't let this moment die, because I get a
feeling when I'm with you, none of the rules apply, and I know for certain goodbye is a
crime, so love if you need me, suspend me in time. Half to believe we are magic, nothing
can stand in our way."
The end.
Sweet dreams!
Soaring For Sorbo,
Hilara
With credit to, mythology, HTLJ, and a song credit to Xanadu, the movie about the muses.
Hope you enjoyed it, and sorry it took me so long to finish it.
