|
|
KS HOTLINE/HQ CHRONICLES #11
SNAP, CRACKLE, POP.... BUZZZZZ
Part two
********
Context: Breakfast meeting, new assignment and a hotline in an uproar. Welcome to XMRSA you are being recruited and put to work right away. <g> Happy Easter, don’t eat to much chocolates. This one is long and a bit twisted. Sit back and enjoy everyone.
Chantal
"Now, you’re in big trouble"
************************
Around 9.00 am Chantal’s loft.
A cold, very cold shower had bee very welcomed. Now Chantal was waiting for Gazelle to arrive. Working on her laptop, she was updating the staff list and also the KS Hotline protocol.
KS HQ staff
Senior executives
KS Hotline manager : Chantal
CEO KS Hotline : Nannyboo
Chef KS Specialist: Dr. Star
THUD Specialist Becky
KS Hotline exec. Melite
KS Hotline exec. Freya
KS Hotline training exec. Castalia
Thud specialist assistant: Kelly
Public promotions exec. Angelika
Adm. manager asst. Gazelle
Supplies and inventory Calico (and her purple pen)
Supplies and inventory clerk Kevfriend/Suja
Building supervisor/renovation construction Cokie
Head of Security Nyxx
Financial clerk XMRSA
Gym manager Dicez
Covert operation center
Several undercover agents
Joint venture staff
Herkspital Chief Administrator Freya
CEO Sweet Chamber Inc Deeva
Assistant Sweet Chamber inc Nyxx
****
Memo
To all staff members
Object: KS Hotline revised version April 1998
KS HOTLINE
Hello, you have reached the Kevin Sorbo Hot line if you are:
*Suffering from KSWS (withdrawal syndrome) or Ksoverdose press 1;
*In need of any items from the emergency kit: lemonade, ice, drool bucket, bib, etc press 2;
*Being lured away by a certain dark looking, very nasty look-a-like or suffering from FLS (Forgetful leather syndrome (copyright belong to Kelly) press 3 and scream;
*In need of some venting because of the merchandising, X*** stuff or anything related to KS press 4 someone will give you a list of addresses where to send your complaints and make some noise… The Honey bees club might also be for you contact Calico;
*In need of the Grape support group, press 5;
*In need of a reassurance for next season press 6;
*In case of calendar overload do not pass go do not collect anything go directly to the Herkspital. I repeat go directly to Herkspital.
" Now I need to see about opening jobs at the gym. Gazelle should be able to handle that with a little help" <g> Chantal said to herself.
Finally a knock on the door announced her assistant arrival. "Come in, it’s opened" Chantal shouted. She had her back to the door. Her bare feet were up on the table. She was wearing cut off jeans and a white tee. Typing away, she said " So, Gazelle I believe I have good news for you. Your gym project is a go. I’ve found you the perfect manager Dicez, she efficient, calm and nothing can phase her, well almost nothing. Cokie will supervise the renovations. We have to plan for a painting bash but it should be fun…"
She was stopped in mid-sentence by a hand gripping her right ankle and turning it slowly as if to examine it. She heard "And fun is good. Nice to see you’re back." "Oh, great. What are *you* doing here?" she asked quietly.
******
Administrative area
The day shift was beginning. Apollena was at her desk and she was answering a call about the KS fan club. "Yes, you can join the fan club even if you live in France. The fan club is international. Do you have an email address? I’ll send you a form. Good, you’ll get it in a few minutes. Merci." Hanging up Ap was beaming. "Well another country to add to the list. This is so wonderful. It is truly an international club."
Michelle was trying to calm down a very angry Herk fan who had been led to believe that the X*** first season episodes where actually Herk tapes. Not an easy job but somehow Michelle was finding the words. "You can return them, it’s your right. You also have to notify the company about the false advertisement. I recommend you keep copies of all the pertinent papers just in case…"
All of a sudden the line all light up with warning. All the phones went crazy. Nannyboo, who had been surfing the Net, as she did every morning for KS news, let out a big ARGGGG!!!!
"Well girls, ladies, brace yourself. If I’m right and when am I not right (not often that’s why you’re CEO, note of the author <g>) we’ll have a bunch of very worried Amazons. Listen to this, I found this on the W**** site. Gee those people love to make trouble."
She read: "Next season of Herkules will be a Herk lite season to accommodate the star desire to have less strenuous work load and will be the last season of the show. I’ll get on this. I’ll have it confirm or deny very soon. I have ways. But here’s the KS Hotline position. It’s only a rumor and it’s not from a very reliable KS source. So caution is warranted. Just calm their fears" stated Nannyboo.
Josée, Andulasia, Apollena and Michelle took a deep breath and went to work. "Have to call for back up" Nannyboo said to herself. "And the day started so well…" Her eyes glazed a little but she gave herself a little slap on the cheeks. "Not now, later, you can let your imagination go later, girl…" and she giggled quietly as she picked up the phone.
*******
Now Gazelle was a little late. "Well she could not help it. She had passed by the construction site and well… Sov doing plaster work was a sight to behold. Wearing only cut off jeans and nothing else. A small crowd of Amazons had gathered on the lawn and were just staring at the man. And man was he something to stare at" Gazelle thought. She was shaking her head in disbelief and was mumbling to herself " I can’t believe he did that. What a show off! Drove those girls mad. Gods, I almost lost it. Can’t believe he took off the jeans. More comfortable. Yeah , right. More freedom of movement And I have a bridge to sell to you. The man is incorrigible. Wait till the boss hears about his latest stunt. Plaster in the buff. Our insurance is going to go through the roof. And we were finally starting to make some money." Gazelle was babbling to herself as she came up the stairs.
*****
Chantal was trying to get free of Ares’ grip. "No, no, no I would not do that if I were you. Nice to see, it’s still there." He was now tracing with his finger the contour of a whip that seemed burned into the right ankle. "Why wouldn’t it be? I can’t really get rid of it, can I? It’s kinda difficult to get that kind of marking off. Not even laser treatment would get it off. I know I’ve tried it." Chantal replied angrily. "Will you let go now?" "Why? I’m having fun. Aren’t you?" "No, not right now. Don’t you have some one else to bother. I mean, some of your favorites are right now drooling over Sov at the construction site. I’m sure Kendaa or Deeva will be more then happy to play. I don’t have time to play mind games with you. And if I recall correctly I’m still free to do what I want and decide for myself. My time is not up yet." Pushing with her leg, she gave the God of war a light shove.
He smiled lazily. "True, time isn’t up but it’s ticking away and I’ll be back to collect. Count on that. And that thing really has to go." Putting his hand on her left shoulder, he applied some pressure and smoke started to appear. Chantal became very still and very pale. "Pain, burning pain" her mind screamed. Her eyes became full of tears but she controlled them. She would not give him the satisfaction. Letting go of her shoulder he looked very proud of himself. "Now, that’s much better" His hand wiped the tears rolling slowly on her cheeks. "You should have know better than to do something as foolish as that. Don’t do it again." And he disappeared with a flash of fire.
On her left shoulder was now a small skull, burned into the flesh much like the whip on her right ankle, instead of her SoviaK tattoo.
*******
Reinforcement was coming in at the hotline. Castalia with her class were now getting hands on experience.
"No there’s nothing to worry about. It’s only a rumor. We are awaiting confirmation or denial of it. Take a deep breath, I’m sure it doesn’t mean a full season of Men in Pink" Ann was trying very hard to be reassuring and succeeding.
Kelly was trying the Bruce Campbell approach. " Yes, we have heard about the 12 episodes contract. I’m sure those ep are going to be hilarious. I mean, Bruce is so funny. You are an Evil Dead fan, wonderful you know I’m a Autolycus fan myself. Why don’t you email Bruce and ask about the next season. You do know he answered his mail. You didn’t well you have to visit his site BC Central at….Think nothing of it. Bye." Kelly smiled. "Well a good diversion is always a nice approach. Ares 101" she said to herself.
Castalia was handling the more heavy cases. "Now you get a hold of yourself. Take a deep breath. Repeat to yourself this is only a rumor, only a rumor…" Putting her hand on the phone, she said to Nannyboo. "Call Freya, this is a borderline case in need of immediate attention. Angelika is losing it. Send SHerk to her place." Getting back on the phone. "Now, Angelika, help is coming to you. You need some time in the KS withdrawal room at Herkspital. Don’t worry, we’ll help you." Cas was now speaking softly and with a reassuring tone.
Nannyboo said to her. "Good job. SHerk is on its way. Keep her on the line until he gets there."
******
Gazelle came off the stairs and ran into Nyxx stepping out of the elevator. She was wearing a deep teal cat suit that exposed her back. Very stylish. Gazelle let out a "WOW! Nice. Oh and what have we here?" Pointing to Nyxx’s left shoulder. Nyxx blushed a little. "Do you like it. I got it last night You have one right? "Yes, I do. I’m very proud of my "Propriety of Herk" tattoo. Yours is very well placed. So Herk asked you did he? Was the bribe worth it?" Nyxx became a shade deeper of red. Just thinking about the "bribe" made her tingly all over. "Well, let’s just say, I had fun." "Yes, I remember. He does make sure to distract us from the pain, doesn’t he?" And Gazelle was unconsciously rubbing her bum. >LOL> "Well, we’re here to see the boss, shall we?" And Gazelle knocked on the loft’s door.
Chantal opened the door. Her face was very pale and she looked quite in pain. Nyxx and Gazelle both at once asked " What’s wrong? What happened?"
"Oh, I knocked my feet on the corner of the table. You know how clumsy I am. I was barefoot. Gods, that hurt something fierce" replied Chantal.
"Now can we have that meeting. You’re late Gazelle. What kept you?"
"Well…"Gazelle was looking for a diplomatic way to break the Sov news to Chantal. Nyxx made it easy. "As you predicted and waged with Cokie. The cut off were off oh, about 30 minutes after you left. Cokie owes you a free paint job for the loft." Nyxx burst out laughing.
"You should have seen the faces of the ladies on the lawn. They were stunned. I say I have never seen Freya so flushed. She was stammering. "I can believe he did, did, did that." Deeva lost it completely. Only iced cold water brought her back. Kendaa and Hestia took out their cameras and started clicking away. As for Kara, well she stopped breathing all together. Sov had to stop the plaster work and perform CPR and mouth to mouth on her. Kara is now helping him with the plaster. She’s covered with it but seems to be enjoying herself immensely"
Chantal had during Nyxx report regain some sort of control. She smiled. "Well you can always count on Sov to make a morning entertaining. Gazelle the insurance premium will go up but what can we do?"
"Chain him up?" Gazelle replied half joking.
"Well, that’s an interesting idea. I’m sure Melite would be very eager to show off her new acquired skills? So Nyxx, any leads on how she did learn those new skills? Or were you sidetrack last night?" asked Chantal. "Well, I believe Iolaus is responsible for this. How she got him to teach her is still unknown. I’ll get to the bottom of this, don’t worry." answered Nyxx.
The three of them went over the logistics of the new gym. Gazelle was all excited. She left the loft almost floating. She had equipment to order, a paint bash to organize, a list of jobs to fill and a manager to see.
"Boy, Dicez is going to be busy." As she left, Chantal told her not to forget about lunch. "That’s been taken care of. Buffet tables will be set up right outside the construction site. You know, I thought an outside lunch would be nice. Nature. Great scenery." She giggled and left.
"Yeah, great scenery. Well at least we’ll be able to get the meeting over. Every one will want to go to lunch." Chantal laughed. Getting up she opened the fridge, took some ice out, put it in a towel and applied it on her left shoulder. Nyxx’s attitude had change the second Gazelle had left. She had a very tensed look on her face. She asked " Your allergy to the ink is acting up, right?" Chantal looked at her friend and smiled ironically "Right, my allergy. That’s it!"
"Right… Allergy…It’s finally happened you’ve lost your mind… Again." smirked Nyxx. Taking the ice pack, Chantal walked back to the dining table and sat. "Well.. I expected a reaction but not *that* reaction."
"Well, he’s a bully, selfish, no good god. That’s all. Next time I see him, I’ll give him a piece of my mind. Let me take a look?" asked Nyxx. Looking at the burn skull on Chantal’s left shoulder, Nyxx let out a loud hiss. "Well, he does know how to leave his mark. You will need more than ice to ease the pain. You should go to the Herkspital and let Freya or Hestia take a look at it."
Turning Chantal stared at Nyxx "No way. Might as well broadcast it on the KSTV News «And finally we learn that the manager of KS Hotline was marked this morning by his almighty God of War. Further development will follow. We will have Herk’s reaction at 11.» No thanks." Chantal’s little tirade brought a laugh out of Nyxx.
"I see what you mean. So what do you plan to do?" asked Nyxx. But Chantal was not paying attention to her. She was looking at *something* that Nyxx did not see or hear. Ares. Standing right there at the door and with a devious grin on his face. Chantal reached for her letter opener on the table. Diverting her eyes, she smiled at Nyxx and said. "Oh I plan to wipe that smile of his face…" and threw the letter opener (did I mention the letter opener was a small dagger, I guess I did not <g>) right at Ares. It went thru him and embedded itself in the door. He just laughed and said "I’ll see you, later". Chantal shouted "Not if I see you first." Nyxx just looked at her and said "Ares?" Chantal sighed "It’s become predictable, hasn’t it?"
*******
Gazelle’s office
Gazelle on the phone. "Yes, I’ll hold." Some musak starts. Gazelle flips thru a gym equipment catalogue. "Oh my, Nordik Track. Gotta have one of those." Gazelle without noticing starts humming the musak. It sounds a lot like the Herk theme song. Stopping, she reads out loud "Exercise is not a state of body, it’s a state of mind. Yeah. Right. You’ve never seen Herk exercises."
A knock on the door. Gazelle looks up. "Dicez. Wonderful, you got my message. Sit down. We have a lot to do. I’m still on hold." Dicez sat down and glanced at the catalogues. "Go ahead, choose what you like. You will be managing the gym. Might as well pick things you like. We need towels, bathrobes, drool buckets (that mandatory <g>), mattresses, treadmill, Nordic track…" Dicez smiled and quietly said " For those buns of steel. Not that Herk needs it." Gazelle almost dropped the phone. "I see. Still water runs deep. Chantal was right you are going to be a great manager. Perfect for the job. Cool but wicked."
Dicez gave Gazelle a wick. "Hey, I may be British but I’m not blind. So what color those towels? Blue like his eyes. Yellow?" Gazelle just laughed. "Whatever just be sure they are made of a strong fabric. You know so they don’t tear easily." Dicez’s eyebrow lifted. " You’re sure. Tearable towels might be fun."
Gazelle smiled and went back on the phone. "Yes, hello, I would like to order three Nordic Track…" (Note of the author: yes the Nordic Track thing is from The last Viking LOL)
*****<Administrative area>
After the Herklite season’s scare, things settled down a little at the Hotline. Castalia was able to take her "students", Skie, Ann and Tedras (in a refresher course <g>) back to class except for Kelly who had thud clerk duty to attend to. So Skie, Ann and Tedras followed Castalia out for a guided tour of KS HQ.
Josée, Andulasia, Apollena and Michelle let out a heavy sigh. They were totally worn out. No more energy and very worried about Angelika. Nannyboo took one look at them. "Sheshhh! Girls, you look like Tartarus. Why don’t you take a break. Kelly and I will handle the phones for 20 minutes. Kelly just nodded and said "Sure, I’m game." Nannyboo, then pushed them out. "Go check on Angelika. I’ll need an update for the administrative meeting later."
Josée looked at Ap and smiled. Michelle and Andulasia exchanged a glance. They were surprised but did not waste anytime. They almost ran out of the place. Nannyboo had a "what’s with that" look on her face then she heard Kelly say "You realize the construction site is beside the Herkspital." Seeing the expression of horror on Nannyboo’s face, Kelly piped " Guess not. Well, I’ll call for back up while you…" Nannyboo was already at the door. "…go … No problem. I can handle things….get them…" Kelly was now laughing. "Okay, who do I page? Emergency unit. Well that sounds just about right…"
*********
Entrance hall of KS HQ
"Now ladies, you are at the gateway of Sorboland. On the floor, notice the beautiful mosaic of Herkules with the sorbo list motto:
"Anyone who isn’t a hard core, nut ball, obsessed, addicted, over the top, loony tunes, drooling, panting, swooning, fainting, gaga gaga about that Grecian demigod/Viking hunky man and his alternate characters should not be here." <copyright belongs to Melite our esteem list goddess>
Castalia had picked up a few new recruits in her class. Hilara, Joanie and Voluptia had join the guided tour. "Now look at the beautiful tapestry hanging on the left wall. It doubles also as a map . Learn the directions by heart. They will prove very useful." "Especially when you lose your brain or mind or bearings" was heard from behind the group. Standing there was Melite and Star with a wide grin on their face and plaster everywhere else. "Of course, you can never be to careful about losing your mind" replied Castalia with a stern look. "Learn those directions, they may save your life…" "Or help locate your clothes…" Melite added with a laugh.
Castalia now was starting to get a little annoyed at her old friends. " Now first direction: EAST : If you were near Sov when that happened your mind went east way east. The side effects are forgetfulness and giggles. NORTH: If you were near Herk, now your mind went north, all the way north and the side effects are babbling, intense babbling and sighing anytime he walks into the room. WEST: Now if you were near Kull your mind went west, totally completely west. The side effects are a sudden cravings for loud music and ice. SOUTH : Now if you were near Are, his almighty walking bad attitude , well your mind went south with no chance what so ever to get it back in awhile. Don't worry the side effects are not that bad annoying in a charming kinda way but bearable. NOT.
"Oh, I think I need to go south for a short visit…" mused Star. "Just you know dip my toe in, just to see how it is…" "You are really starting to worry me, Star. I would not even begin to think of going south" replied Melite. Castalia turned and faced her friends. "Now if you two have nothing better to do, I’m trying to work here. And Star go south, way south, it’s fun in a roller coaster kinda a way. And you, Melite, should really consider migrating North. Ares has a thing for chicken right now." Having said her mind, Castalia went right back to work.
"Wow. She really takes training recruits seriously." Melite was stunned. "Well, unlike someone who’s been forever and a day forbidden to ever, ever do recruits training again." Star was now looking directly at Melite. "Well, you know I could not pass up Sov and chocolate body paint. Now I’m into knots, sailor knots…" replied Melite with a wicked grin. "Really, interesting tell me more…" answered Star. And both started walking toward the stairs.
They passed Josée, Andulasia, Ap and Michelle coming down. Coming down very fast. All with a cat about to swallow the canary grin on their face. They took one look at Melite and Star. Josée asked " Plaster tag?" "Yep" answered Star and Melite. "Oh this is going to be like the Elysian Fields" added Ap. "Let’s go. What are we waiting for?" replied Michelle. "Yeah, let’s hurry before Nanny realize her mistake…" laughed Andulasia.
They passed Cas and her class. Volupta and Ann looked at one another and bolted. "I want to play plaster tag too" was heard and they joined the four running Amazons. Cas was not that surprised. "Well, they will have to take the course again and no graduation present for Herk for them. Just more for those who stayed. Now let’s go to the delivery and docks area and I’ll introduce you to Calico and Suja/Kevfriend. They are the ladies to see about merchandising…"
In the middle of the stairs, Melite and Star had to make room very fast for Nannyboo who was coming at them like a tornado (note of the author: I could not help it <g>). " Stop, slow down Nanny. They are already gone. Relax a second" said Melite. Nannyboo took a look at both her friends. "Oh no. You too, you went back. WITH OUT ME! There is going to be Tartarus to pay. You’ll see, I’ll get my revenge." And Nannyboo resumed her pursuit of her wandering Amazons.