KS HOTLINE MEETING

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KS HOTLINE WEEKLY MEETING#5

STORMY WEATHER

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Context: This was written at the end of January and during a bad case of insomnia (a real one) that became a fictional one. <g>. It’s more a mystery case. You have to know that SQ had gotten into a bad car accident before the convention. That both Princess and Castalia had parts in plays. And this is Becky's the KS THUD specialist bow.

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STORMY WEATHER PART ONE: DON’T KID A KITTY (this one is dedicated to our friend Calico you had quite a time at the convention. LOL)

Prologue: Was it the half moon week, the beginning of the Aquarius month or just post con depression? Any which way you looked at it a storm was brewing at KS Hotline Headquarters.

Everyone was in their private office either working on ongoing cases, catching up on last week work, trying to organize a therapy calendar or establishing a filling cabinet.

<Becky’s brand new office>

Becky on the phone, looking for some papers. "Yes, I’ll hold. Where is it?" she whispers shuffling more paper around. "Yes, I’m still here. You have it. Good. Read it back to me. Becky. KS HOTLINE THUD specialist. Wonderful. When will they be ready? Saturday. Fine. You can send them COD." She hangs up.

She picks up a list. "Business cards. Check. Now if I can only find those color coded files for the pics." Looking around she sighs. Her brand new office looks like a war zone. Papers everywhere. The floor full of printout from every known KS web site and a few unknown ones. Becky lets out a howling scream. "ARGGG!!!"

<Calico’s office>

Calico is reviewing the mail that has pilled up during her trip to Burbank. She reads. "Good. I’ll keep that in mind when Calico goes ballistic about the calendars…" "I just can hear Calico scream : What? They are not ready. I want those calendars. Give me my calendars!…"

A icy smile appears, she pushes her CD remote and Meredith Brooks’ B*** song comes out blaring " … You know you would not want it any other way…" "Will see…" Calico whispers.

<Chantal’s office>

In this office, David Bowie’s Modern Love can be heard blasting out of the loud speakers. Chantal is singing along while reviewing cases. "Modern love.. modern love… Church on time…"

-SaraQuinn : her car accident has not left any visible side effect. Back on full duty.

"No religion"

-Nyxx: Her KS Anxiety episode syndrome seems to be under control. Has repeatedly requested a private posing session with Sov. Something about a body paint project… On probation needs supervision after the lock in incident.

"Church on time"

-Amazon Storm’s addiction to Jello sparkling grape is under control so far… on probation.

"Don’t believe in modern love"

-MMMuffin: no relapse. So far so good. Probation lifted.

The song ends.

"ARGGGG!!!!" The door flies open with a bang. Taken by surprise, Becky hits her head on the filling cabinet. "Ouch!" she cries. Angelika rushes to Becky’s aid. "Dear, I heard you scream. I thought something was wrong! Are you okay?" Looking at Becky’s head, Angelika adds: "Oh, allright, you’ll have a little bump on the head."

"A little bump?" replies Becky.

"Well it serves you right. Screaming like that. I thought you just received, you know, the grape pic. The one I desperately want to stare at. You know, real drool time. If you don’t have it, you, the KS HOTLINE THUD specialist, who will?" says Angelika.

"As a mater of fact, I do have it somewhere around here. Her hand circles the mess on the floor. "If you help me find those darn color coded files and sort the prints out, I’ll make sure you have a life size version of the grape pic." adds Becky with an innocent smile.

(Note of the author: Becky’s office mess is creative license. Also, I don’t have a life size version of the grape pic. Don’t ask. LOL)

"Well, if I get to be your assistant…" replies Angelika.

"How about KS HOTLINE THUD clerk?" counters Becky.

"Good enough for me. Do I get an office?" answers Angelika.

"Don’t push it." growls Becky rubbing her head.

The walls are vibrating from the noise coming from each side. "Right, Meredith Brooks’ has been yelling for about three hours now. Left, David Bowie is all very nice but enough already" screams Star. "I’m trying to concentrate here. I have an important grape meeting to organize. Gods, I can’t take it anymore. It has to stop!" Star storms out of her office and knocks at Chantal’s door.

"Come in" is heard over David Bowie’s Young American. Star starts "Listen, I can’t concentrate. Bowie at a lesser volume, I can take but we have to do something about Calico. Meredith Brooks B*** song, every hour on the hour, is madness. And I actually heard her yell " I won’t even buy them. Cremation be damned to Tartarus!" more than once."

Chantal still singing along answers. "All the way from Washington.." "Well I guess a trip to the new game room is in order then a few hours in the sound proof room with say Kull maybe? What do you think?" "Young American…"

Star replies "You read my mind." "Cool." is Chantal’s answer. (Note of the author: The game room and sound proof room ideas, the copyright belongs to Star. <g>)

<Calico’s office>

Calico’s Irish temper was pretty flared up in Burbank. She still saw red when thinking about those calendars… Star slowly opens the door. "Hello you. How about we take a little walk and talk. You look like you need some fresh air?" Calico her eyes a little glazed said "Fresh air? Why not." She ends Miss B’s song. "Finally" thinks Star.

Star leads Calico through the garden and to the brand new wing. They stop in front of the newest addition to KS HQ : The Game room. "Star, dear, you can’t kid a kitty. What is this?" asks Calico. "Well, I thought, maybe, you would enjoy a little dart game with a Cremation board" smiles Star. "Dart game? Cremation board? You’re kidding right? No way? Really?" Calico is now jumping up and down. "Really. Then I got a special pass for the sound proof room… So you know, can scream without scaring anyone" adds Star. "Will I be screaming alone?" asks Calico. "Well, I did arrange for someone to join in the screaming with you. Does the name Kull mean anything?" replies Star with a wicked smile and she pushes Calico into the game room where Shauna and Nannyboo already had a game going.

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Part two: When push comes to shove…

It was a bright, sunny winter’s day. The administrative area was buzzing with activities. Kara, MMMuffin (no longer on probation) and Cokie were handling the phones. <Cokie breathing with difficulty> "In, out. Yeah, I know. Keep breathing." Cokie takes a shot of the oxygen tank near her. "Yes, it is a tub bucket drool scene. You’re doing great. How’s your heart rate? 75. Okay, you’re fine. Just leave the video tape alone for a few hours. Okay. Bye bye. Ouch! That grape episode is plunging amazons into oxygen depravation big time. I can’t believe it." laughs Cokie. "Yum, who brought bananas?" she asks as she picks up one in the fruit basket on the table.

"Those are Princess’ baskets. Don’t eat the fruits. We’ve been getting them since Monday. You know Princess is a star of the stage. You see the cards?" says Birdly.

Card one: break a leg - Iolaus; card two: Don’t do anything I would not do - Dite ; Card three: Best of luck to my princess - Herk; Card four: To the very best -Kull.

"And the flowers and baskets are still coming. See the big flower bouquet over there. It’s from Sir Draco" continues Birdly who is planning a conference/workshop about chocolate and its healing powers at her desk. "Now about that chocolate body paint thing…" starts Cokie.

Kara is handling a very eager lemonade lover. "Yes, there are still positions available in the LCFLA. You’re interested. Okay, this is what we have left…" MMMuffin, while munching on grapes is reading the latest Sorbo Sentinel when her phone rings. "KS Hotline, MMMuffin here. How can I help you?" she grins at Nannyboo who just walked in and says "I’m so good, it’s a crime. Wait a minute. Who is this? Melite, is that you? Calm down. You saw who? Karl? Karl who?" MMMuffin puts her hand on the phone and shouts " Melite has spotted Karl Urban at the mall. Again! Can someone go and get her. I’ll keep her on the phone. Gee, third time this week. Talk about post con hallucinations!" says MMMuffin.

"You mean post con depression, right! Weird" replies Nannyboo.

Castalia enters bouncing for joy. "I got it. I got it. I got the part! I’m Beth in Little women. Isn’t this great!" and she hits her head on the door frame. "Ouch!" she cries. "Tubular, Castalia! Another actress. Do we get more fruit baskets? If so can we have some kiwis, please" asks Deeva. "I’m craving kiwis." Speaking into the phone "No, not you. *I’m* craving kiwis. You have grape addiction. The next meeting is on the…" continues Deeva. Castalia sits down at her desk and opens her script to study her lines. The phone rings. "Hello, KS Hotline, Castalia here…" and she rubs her head.

It was Nannyboo’s turn to have a go at the new recruits. She has her own unique style of teaching. She likes to ask little riddles and trivia to test the new amazons' knowledge. "So, what day are we?" she asks. "Euh, Saturday?" replies Hestia. "Duh! Wrong answer. Today is the anniversary of the beginning of H:TLJ. It’s in the manual, girls. Okay, let’s go to your episode knowledge. In the latest ep…" demands Nannyboo. " The grape ep?" interrupts Michelle. "Yes, that one. What do we see in the grapes and was does it remind you of?" asks Nannyboo. "Not fair. I’m still in reruns land. I did not see this one" and Michelle gets a little weak and pale. Nannyboo goes to her, takes her pulse. "One more KS Anxiety case. Make an appointment for the stress room with Star."

As she leaves, Chantal posts the list for the private posing session with Sov as requested.

List:

Time Amazon Project

Saturday evening Nyxx Bodypaint

Sunday morning Star Clay

Sunday afternoon Deeva Xeroxing (what ever that is.LOL)

Sunday evening available

"Now, have fun. Don’t do anything I would not do" Chantal says and leaves.

<Saturday, late evening. Chantal’s loft at KS HQ>

Sitting in her favorite chair with Conte Partiro playing in the back on a low volume, Chantal is reading a fascinating essay "The art of the war" by Sun-Tzu when the phone rings. "Hello. Hold on. Are you sure? Okay, well we put the plan in motion. Your part if you choose to accept it will be to create a diversion in order for the rescue to work. Yeah, I’ve been aware that one of our amazon sister is holding Herk hostage in the basement of the new wing. I thought she would snap out of her KS Delusion trance. It was probably caused by a bump on the head or KS Anxiety ep combined with an allergic reaction to grapes. I’ll contact the Iolausian rescue team. If you get caught. I’ll deny any involvement what so ever. Bye, have fun!"

<Chantal dialing> "Rats. And I wanted to sleep late tomorrow morning. Hello, Chrysim. What is your rate for an early Sunday morning rescue?" Just then two strong arms came around her shoulders and pulled her backwards. "Who says, you will get any sleep?" replies the low voice of the god of war. (Note of the author: the appearance of Ares is a prescription given by my personal physician Star for my insomnia. <g>)

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Part three: Rescue? What rescue!

"Star, get up!" Chantal is shouting at the top of her lungs on the phone but to very little effect. Finally, Star is coherent enough to understand to meet her at KS HQ at 5.00 AM.

<Sunday, 5.00 AM>

"Now, this better be good because I’m going to be one cranky amazon" announces Star when she walks in. SQ, Calico, MMMuffin, Becky, Melite, Castalia and Nannyboo are already there, not fully awake, but there. <Chantal holding out a yawn> "Now, we have a crisis and <another yawn>…" "The art of war kept you up last night. Fascinating reading, no?" teases Star. "Oh, shut up. LOL. Like I started to say, we have a crisis. Nyxx has barricaded herself again this time with Sov in the art room. Now, you’re the Sorbonne SWAT team. We need to get her out right now." says Chantal.

That announcement woke everyone up. MMMuffin and Nannyboo start planning strategy. They send Calico and Becky to do reckon. SQ is pulling out the blue print of the new wing. <Chantal as she walks out> "Let me know when you are ready to proceed. Castalia can you come with me?"

Nyxx was having the time of her life. She was living an artist’s dream. Body paint with Sov (the mind boggles at the thought I know). Her blue eyes were admiring intensely her art work. She had used every possible shades of purple from dark violet to light lavender to create the perfect living statue. And it had taken all night. Of course, after that, Sov wanted to try it too. So she became the canvas, her beautiful lavender dress dropping to the floor.

"Well, I see you are getting ready" says Chantal. Castalia’s mouth opens wide and her eyes pop out. Her hero, the man she admires the most was here. "Iolaus, what’s going on?" asks Castalia when her voice is back. "Well, you see, the Iolausian rescue team has been hired. Well, get to work. Here’s your gear. Go get ready girl. Bwell, Chrysim and Nydiva are almost ready" answers Iolaus. Castalia picks up her gear and starts getting ready. Did not take that long.

"Okay, ladies. We know our objective. Herk is held hostage in this part of KS HQ. There" pointing to the north west part of the basement. "There is one window, one door. Both booby trap. Our best bet is to split up and attack both at the same time. Castalia since you are the most flexible of the team you and Nydiva will work the window. Nydiva’s voice can shatter glass. There should not be any problem. Bwell, Chrysim and I will tackle the door" ends Iolaus.

"Now, before we go. Concentration exercises everyone". All five of the rescue party stood very still then brought their hands together like a triangle and did a Tai chi routine. They were a fine oil machine. Bwell in green, Nydiva in blue, Chrysim in deep red and Castalia in dark purple. They made one with the team leader.

"Okay. Everyone is ready. Good. Now, we only need Chantal’s okay…" MMMuffin is keyed up and can hardly wait to get into the action. "Now, everyone is familiar with the floor’s plan?" asks SQ. She helped design the new wing and knows every inch of it. "Yes, we do. No problem. I helped you with the plan, remember?" says Melite.

Chantal walks in a little out of breath with Calico in tow. "Okay, the area is clear. I left Becky there, in case someone shows up" says Calico. "Shall we go, ladies" is all Chantal needed to say. The Sorbonne SWAT team went into action. They had the hardware to blow open the door. MMMuffin and dynamite, not a pretty sight. SaraQuinn had the loud speaker and made her move. "Nyxx, we know you’re in there. Come out right now and nobody will be harm…" Just then a thundering sound was heard. The booby trap alarms were activated. MMMuffin, Melite, Nannyboo, Becky and Calico looked at one another and said "Hey, we didn’t touch anything?" A wailing sound was now coming off the loud speaker. SaraQuinn looked very very annoyed "What is this. My alarms…." As she turned to face Chantal, she said "You knew…" Star gives her a shot of KS tranquilizer.

A few minutes later, the Iolausian rescue team was bringing Herk save and sound if just a little tired. He had not gotten much sleep. Herk took SaraQuinn in his arms and whispered very gently "Everything will be all right now. Don’t worry, that accident shook you up more than you thought. Freya and I will take care of that KS Delusion syndrome" and he walked out with her.

"Hum, how about payment. We take checks, credit cards, dinars, …no other forms of payment will be accepted" says Iolaus giggling. "Better not, we don’t s**** our man" reply the rescue team members. "Don’t worry, the check is in the mail" smiles Star. Chantal picks up the loud speaker "Nyxx, you have until 9.00 AM. Good job, girl."

"Finally, some sleep. I need sleep" murmurs Chantal climbing into bed. "Not now, you don’t" replies a familiar voice.

<Fade out> the end.

Chantal, KS Hotline, I know the patients are running the asylum…

January 1998

KS Hotline meeting #6

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