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Golf fluff
a totally silly story in progress
So.. how about a golf tournament fluff
thing.. i mean.. just to have fun.. i don't know how to golf.. so i think i'm gonna go for
some private lessons with Blairmuse here..i think he'll look cute in knickers..
Sooooooo...
Announcing Sorboland first Charity Golf tournament to profit the orphans of Xenaverse.
"Oh Zeus. What has Salmoneus got himself into now. How are we to control Sov, Kull,
Iolaus, Ares, Herk (he does take his golf sooooo seriously), Autolycus in that setting..
they will be armed with clubs.. clubs...." Chantal was a little upset. "And i
don't have any clue on how to play golf.. gee.. "
"and think of the race for the caddies' jobs.. man.. i think i'm going on vacation..
golf is soooo not my game" Blairmuse was slowly moving backwards out of Chantal's
study.
"Don't worry, i think i can get an impartial referee.. maybe.. i can get two.. but i
wouldn't want to be in Sal's shoes.. no sirreee.. caddies's jobs.. Sal really knows how to
get in trouble.." Chantal picked up her phone and dialed. "Yes, operator i would
like to make an oversea's call to London England..."
****
Castalia was pacing up and down the glass corridor of her brand her office space. "Wait til i get my hands on that carpet seller, like i have the time to be the chief organizer of a golf tournament.. get real.. and of course.. who disappears right after the flyers hit the ground.. HIM.. when i get my hands on you Salmoneus you will be singing, in the soprano section..."
Castalia went back inside her office. "I
need coffee.. this is not good. I'll need security.. the security on the golf course alone
is going to be insane.. the logistic.. can't have Ares playing with Sov.. oh the
nightmare.. " Castalia shuddered. "Don't go there..."
A soft knock on the door interrupted Castalia's nightmarish thoughts. "Cas, i'm here
to register SHerk for the tournament and me as his caddie. This is a great idea.. of
course.. SHerk will have to learn to hit the ball.. but he's been practicing this golf
thing with me.. you know " KalliSta winked at Cas.
"KalliSta, my friend, i'm sooooo glad to see you.. i have an offer for you. One you
can not refuse.." Castalia put her arm around Kal's shoulders and closed the door..
KalliSta was sitting behind a table in KSHQ's agora with a big banner right above her
head.
"REGISTRATION FOR GOLF TOURNAMENT.HERE!!!!"
A few curious and out of the loop amazons stopped by grabbing registration forms.
"You have to bring them back ASAP. Be sure to grab the alpha...err... player of your
choice to caddie for. They are disappearing like hotcakes.." KalliSta smiled at a
confused new amazon. "I just grab one and then what? I don't know the first thing
about golf.."
"Don't worry all alphas have the golf gene. They are natural at golf.. so to speak..
they love to practice.." KalliSta replied with a giggle. (Now you should ask KalliSta
about golf courses.. <beg>)
"They sure have the "club" for it" Danaan said smiling. "Here Kal
my registration form. Now, i have to go and get myself a golf cart. I hope they have blue
ones." Danaan started to leave.
"Wait.. Danaan.. you're registering Methos?!! I thought you would be playing with
WetNekkidHerk?" KalliSta looked confused.
"My dear, WetNekkidHerk wasn't to keen on playing golf, you know, he was afraid
someone would hit his balls.. I have to go now.. so much to do.. so little time... now a
wood is the club they start with and the putter is the last one they use on the
green.."
KalliSta shrugged. "I guess i can understand not wanting to lose his balls but it
would have made for a nice scenery.." KalliSta sighed.
"Okay, Methos and Danaan, checked. Hilara and Robert. Castalia and Iolaus. Freya and
Sov. Nani and Autolycus. Dessy and HunterHerk. Nannyboo and Herk. CJ and NorseHerk. Joxer
and to be named amazon... Oh boy.. Joxer registered himself.. Feral and Kull. Xena and
Gabby... How did those two get passed me. This isn't good. I'll have to make sure there is
no trouble. Discord and unnamed hunter... Unnamed Hunter? What is the chicken planning?
Kidnapping a hunter? Right!" KalliSta snorted.
"So Kal, how are the registration going? Any surprises?" Hawk jumped and sat on
the table.
"Hey, why aren't you registered?" Kal picked up a form.
"No way. THerk and i will watch and besides i was recruited for security duty. You
know making sure Sov doesn't take the head off this opponents."
"Oh bummer... then i should warn you. The chicken.. i mean .. Discord.. registered so
did Xener. Feathers might be ruffled. You know."
"I'll pass that info along to Josée. I know we have a meeting set for this
afternoon, right before the teams are announced. I'll see you then." Hawk climbed off
the table and walked off.
"Let's pray that Sov and..." KalliSta stopped her thought. "No. If you say
it, it will come true." At the same instant, Ares popped in front of her.
*****
Castalia was on edge. She has a problem. A huge
problem.
"Knock. Knock. Can i come in? Is the coast clear?" Melite let herself inside.
"You wanted to see me?"
"Yeah Melite. I have a question for you. ARE YOU INSANE?"
Insane? Me? Not this week... Wait i'll check my
planner." Melite took out her appointment book. "Okay. August... no insanity is
for early September. August is adventurous and dangerous." Melite gave Castalia a big
grin.
"That would explain it. You are insane. Did you agree to this?" Castalia put a
registration form into Melite's hands.
"What? I didn't register. I'm on the welcome committee at the 19th hole.
Hot tub duty." Melite started to read and then exploded. "Oh my gods. Tell me
this is wrong. I don't want that job. Please, i beg you, i really, really don't want that
job..."
Castalia rolled her eyes. "Who knows about your adventurous and dangerous
thing?"
Melite blushed. "Oh ..i might have bragged a little... you know but it's a game. We
tease each other but nothing happens.. i beg you get me out of this!"
"I can't registration are final. My hands are tied." Cas answered.
*****
At KSHQ security offices, Josée was going through her staff list.
"Hawk and THerk at the 9th hole with the refreshment stand. Grapes, lemonade, bottle
water. Iris and LHerk will be there for support. Hercgirl and GentleHerk at the 3th hole
guarding the hole in one prize "an authentic weave leather pants donated by
Herk". Maigrey, TabuMinstrel, CJane and Tedras on golf cart patrol. And a few other
amazons undercover naturally."
"Naturally. Humm, Josée. if i may inquire Tedras? TabuMinstrel? At the helm of
a golf cart? Remember the shopping trip.." Meg made a face.
"Oh, that's okay. Tedras got her driving instructor license since that trip. She's an
expert and TabuMinstrel will ride with her. And Tabu will love it. I'm not worried. I'm
worried about the 19th hole.." Josée frowned.
"That is problematic but i thought maybe we could use Detective Ellison's expertise
to control the problems that might occur. He could train the Alphas to handle the HotTub
trafic, the shower jams, towels shortage.. And he then could concentrate on the real
problems : Strife, Discord, Ares, Sov.. " Meg sighed.
"Detective Ellison has his work cut out for him. That's for sure." Josée
replied.
"I guess we will know if we are ready fairly soon." Meg answered back.
Calico and PHerk walked in holding hands. "Are we early?"
"No, you are right on time actually.
Everyone should be here shortly. You still want to take care of the banquet diner and
evening festivities Calico?" Meg asked.
"Oh yes. I have a few surprises planned and we have an out of town chef coming in.
She'll deal with Falafel." Calico smiled sweetly at PHerk.
"That's good news. Okay, the gang is here" Josée was relieved.
Hawk and THerk came in with the golf cart quartet in tow. Tedras had war paint on her
face. Tabu had her camera ready. CJane and Maigrey were in combat clothes (leather mini
skirt, long leather boots and leather tank top).
"Glad you could all make it.. humm where's Hercgirl?" Josée asked Hawk.
"She'll be along eventually. She's hunting something. Couldn't quite catch what it
was. Do you know love?" Hawk turned to THerk.
"Something like pheasant..humm... ostrich... no more like.."
"A rooster maybe..." Meg asked.
"Yeah. That!" THerk smiled.
"Oh boy..." Josée sighed.
At 4 o'clock, Castalia stepped into the agora
with KalliSta. All the players, their caddies, teh supporters, the security personnel were
anxiously waiting for the pairing results.
"Here we are. The big announcement. You know that each team will compete with the
others. This is not an individual competition. All pairing with be decided at random by
picking out names from this hat." KalliSta presented something that looked like a
Joxer's hat.
"Yes. Joxer was very kind and let us use his hat. So i'll ask Chantal to come and
pick out the name of the pairing. The results are final and she's also announced the names
of the referee for tomorrow's tournament.
Chantal moved near KalliSta and plonged her hand inside the hat. Two pieces of paper were
taken.
"Okay first team with the starting time of 8 am.. Kull and his caddie Feral you are
joining forces with HunterHerk and Dessy. Congrats."
Clappings and cheers were heard. Feral winked at Dessy and whispered. "This is nice
we can set out traps for the next teams." Dessy gave Feral a high five.
"Second team. Let's see.. Autolycus and Nani you are teamed with Castalia and Iolaus.
Starting time 8.30 am." Chantal gave Nani two tumbs up.
"WHAT??? Since when was i registered? I have no idea how to play? Iolaus!!!!!!"
Castalia stomped out of the agora in pursuit of the Blond Hunter who thought it wise to
make like the wind and blow.
"Third team.. Robert and Hilara, you will play with .. Methos and Danaan. Starting
time 9 am. Oh Danaan.. bring a case of beer."
Some laughs erupted. "Yeah you better make you sure you have ice too.. " was
heard.
"Fourth team. NorseHerk and CJ you will be with.. KalliSta and SHerk. Starting time
of 9.30. Time enough to eat breakfast and wake up."
SHerk jumped and danced around. "Oh, Kal, we are really going to play. This is sooooo
cool."
"Team number 5. Oh.. Discord and her caddie, i can't read the name here... "
Chantal turned to KalliSta but froze when Discord appeared with a tied up YIolaus behind
her.
"YIolaus. My caddie is YIolaus. He lost a bet." Discord blew him a kiss.
"Okay. Discord and YIolaus you are teamed with...." Chantal hissed. "Hum..
Xena and Gabby. Starting time 10 am. Please play nice."
Xena's stare could have melted iron. "Oh i intend too."
"Team 6. We have.. Herk and Nannyboo.. " Chantal laughed. "How did you get
that tough job Boo? Never mind. You have your ways."
Boo grinned.
"And Joxer with... wait i must be reading this wrong.. that's my name on this..
Joxer.. i'm sorry i can't be your caddie i'm babysitting the referees. But i see you have
a second choice. Good call.. Baucis you will be with Herk Nannyboo and Joxer. Everyone
starting time is at 10.30 am.
"And our last team.." At this moment both Chantal and KalliSta looked at each
other. "Oh no... oh gods.. no way.." KalliSta whispered.
"Team 7.. we have Sovereign with Freya and... Ares, God of War, son of Zeus.. with..
Whisper and Melite!!!!!! How did you get two caddies?"
******
The night had been hectic and difficult for some.
Restful and filled with cuddles and love for others.
Freya passed the entire night calming Sov down. Every attempts at getting him to even
consider the idea of a partnership with Ares ended with broken glass, broken porcelain,
broken furniture. Freya knew she would have to redecorate after this.
"Listen if we want to win we have to compromise." Freya started.
"COMPROMISE!!!! What kind of word is that! I don't compromise. I rule!" Sov
thundered.
"I know your Sovereingness.. I know.. but this is a game of strategy and wit. Of
athleticism and accuracy. Brains and brawls. We both know you have both but so does Ares.
You would be an unbeatable team if you put your mind to it." Freya was at the end of
her rope. She had gone over this argument for hours. She needed sleep. It was dawn and the
starting time was for 11 am.
"Let's sleep on it, Sov. Maybe after a few hours of sleep things won't look so
bad." Freya pushed away the debris scattered on the bed. "Or maybe you'll see
the light and decided to play along." was mumbled as Freya fell into the arms of
Morpheus and dreamt of an unholy alliance that would make both her and Sov the undisputed
winner of the Golf tournament.
The night had also been busy for some. Two shadows had walked the golf course during the
night. One tall, dashing and very meticulous. Examining every sand trap, climbing every
tree, installing a few hooks here and there. The second one, slender and more cunning
preferred to watch the first one closely.
Cuddles and kisses with breakfast in bed (well if you count grape Jell-O and burnt waffles
as breakfast) woke up KalliSta. SHerk, excited, had been up for hours.
*****
TBC
Last updated : 2001-08-26