THE DUCT TAPE CHRONICLES


"Well, I've only been alive for 5000 years what would I know about it"

Methos "To Be"


Prologue

DUCT TAPE 101

(this was patterned on 1001 ways to be romantic by Gregory J.P" Godek)

Excerpts from "Duct tape 101 by MsZee"

Duct tape is a state of mind. If you have the right mindset you can make a visit to a museum a duct tape opportunity; if you have the wrong mindset, you can make Herk and sometimes Sov very nervous...

Duct tape is about the little things and the not so little things <eg>

It's much more about the pursuit and the chase, the little traps you can lay every day to catch your favorite hero, demi-god, Alpha Herk or god. And it's also about walking the dangerous line between fun and outrageous fun.

There are two kinds of duct tape situation:

The obligatory situation and the optional situation. Both are important and although the focus is on optional situations, beginners are advised to start with the obligatory situation. But make no mistake the optional are the more fun.

The obligatory situations include: birthdays, Valentine's day, Thanksgiving, you know the usual ones...
The optional situations include : everything else <vbeg>

Why duct tape? Why not...It will improve your chance of spending some quality time with your hero, Alpha Herk, demi-god or god of choice.

Duct tape is hero, demi-god, Alpha Herk and god friendly. Don't be afraid to use it. Sharing duct tape is even better. <bg>

Using duct tape occasionally is one thing but living, breathing duct tape requires skills and effort,

Over do duct tape? Sure. Sov will love it, GHerk won't mind at all and DahakHerk will relish it.

Give you hero, demi-god, Alpha Herk, gods an muses choices. Fast or slow? Gray, black or blue? Right now or later? Large or small? Cloth or rubber? Conservative or outrageous? Public or private? Here or there?

Tune in to duct tape opportunities. They are all around Sorbo land. Start with the basics. You, a few rolls of duct tape and the hero, demi-god, Alpha Herk or god of your choice then give the situation a twist.

Duct tape is only one expression of our obsession and it's a fun one.



<Six months before>

It was a quiet spring evening, Kelly and Chantal were trying to put together Sov's biography. Well Kelly was writing it, Chantal was only tossing out ideas. When Kelly mentioned her little encounter with Herk in the closet. (see the KSHQ chronicle snap, crackle, pop... buzzz)

"You know that he STILL won't talk about it. Every single time we pass each other in the corridors, Herk gets this nervous look on his face and checks around for closets. Like I'm gonna jump him again so soon." Kelly was absently twirling her duct tape roll around her index.

"Well, you are the duct tape queen. And it was a bit traumatic for him..." Chantal was nonchalantly playing with her rainbow slinky.

"I know but maybe if... No forget it" Kelly started.

"What..." Chantal gave Kelly an inquiring look.

"Oh, the possibilities. Imagine... a few very cunning Amazons armed with duct tape, daggers..." started Kelly.

"Night goggles... a convenient power failure..."continued Chantal.

"And our mighty heroes, demi-gods, Alpha Herks and gods on the run" ended Astrild.

Chantal and Kelly turned to see Astrild standing in the doorway of the KSHQ lounge.

Astrild approached the duo and extended her hand. "Do we have a plan?" she asked.

Kelly clasped her hand on Astrild's wrist. "We will." she answered. Chantal's hand joined the other two. "Oh, I think I could be arranged."


The training session

Some tips that will improve your duct tape techniques <excerpts from McZee "The wonderful world of Duct tape> (This is still patterned on 1001 ways to be romantic>

* "Turn the ordinary into the extraordinary". You can turn every situation into a little duct tape experiment.

* "Recognize that one type of duct tape is not enough".

* "Recapture the fun by viewing duct tape as play time".

* "Understand the difference between being the one with the duct tape and being the one duct taped".

* "Duct tape is a balance of two concepts. One: actions speak louder than words. Two: The tighter the better".

* "Duct tape is only a tool. Mutual enjoyment is the ultimate goal".

* "Let the duct tape speaks for you".

* "Duct tape is the icing on the cake".


<KSHQ Hotline center, a few days later>

KalliSta was reading the card she found on her desk. Plain looking card with the message : "Training session. Today. 14:00. BE THERE." DTB.

"DTB. What the *&(&( is DTB?"

"You got me there too KalliSta? So did I? What training is this? I do the training around here and I have no idea what his DTB is..." Castalia was waving the card around, a little ticked off.

"Want me to check it out?" asked KalliSta.

"Better safe than sorry." was the answer.

"Well, let's see who else got one of these cards?" Castalia said, tapping in on the desk. "I'll go directly to the person with the answer."

"And that would be..."started KalliSta with a giggle.

"Yeah, exactly who you think." Castalia answered. "Get back to me later. We'll compare notes." Castalia walked out of the Hotline center mumbling "DTB?!!! What are they? I do the training around here..."

KalliSta contacted her sisters in blood and mischief and found out that both Danaan and Freya were invited to the training session too. The Infernal Trio quickly divided the rest of the Amazons and sought out the other trainees.

Freya made a few phones calls. She hit pay dirt with the security duo of Nyxx and Josée. Nyxx had no idea what DTB was of if she did (most likely she was KSHQ head of security) she was not telling. Even when Freya tried to
somehow trick her into spilling the beans.

"DTB? Know anything Nyxx?"

"DTB, let me think. Is that the new division of SCDP?"

Freya was stunned. A new division. What new division? "Okay, I'll bite, what 's SCDP?"

"You don't know. Well, it's a new division... for the Sorbo Clueless Deprived People..." and Nyxx bursts out in laughter.

"Sorbo Clueless Deprived People... I'll get you for that Nyxx. So shall I be present at that training thing. It's not one of Salmoneus' telemarketing schemes?"

"Nope. That I'm sure of. And you'll love it. Trust me" Nyxx said before hanging up on Freya.

"I'll love it. Sure. But I would love it more if I knew what I was training for." Freya said out loud.

"Training? You had an invitation too?" Angelika stood in the doorway of Freya's office.

"Yeah. Know what DTB is?" asked Freya.

"Haven't got a clue? Maybe we should gather up everyone and try some word association?" Angelika suggested.

"Good idea. Herkspital therapy room. Noon. We'll do this while eating lunch."

"I'll be there. I'll see if anyone in the administration office received this invitation" said Angelika and she was on her way.


In the administration office, Nannyboo, Hilara and Star were trying to figure out who had send the email invitation they got. Angelika popped in and with one look knew her friends had received the mysterious invitation.

"Ladies. Lunch. 12:00. Herkspital Therapy room. We'll put considerable wit, brain power and cunning to figure out who sent that."

Nannyboo grinned. "Okay but I'll do some investigations of my own."

"Yeah, how come KSHQ CEO doesn't know?" said Star.

"Well, how come you don't know, Star?" asked Nannyboo.

"Usually you are in touch with those thing."

"Well, I don't. I've been distracted lately..." started Star.

"Yeah, a black leather clad, bad walking attitude is monopolizing all her time" said Hilara with a smile.

"Hey, watch it Hilara or I'll ask how your French lessons are coming along?" teased Star.

"Bien, ma chère, très bien" replied Hilara.

"What did she say?" asked Nannyboo

"Fine. Dear. Really fine" answered Angelika. "So can I count on you three for lunch?"

"Yeah, we'll be there" said Star.

"With bells on" added Nannyboo.

"Certainement" concluded Hilara.

Angelika rolled her eyes and left.

"So I guess a little visit to our friend up in management is in order? What do you say Star?" asked Nannyboo.

"You go. I'll check with Josée to see if I can get anything out of her. Security must know something" Star replied.

"Wish me luck" Nannyboo said walking out.

"Bonne chance mon amie."

"Hilara, I think you and I should have a talk about these French lessons..." said Star.


Danaan had let her fingers do the walking. She emailed the legal division of KSHQ and received a few minutes later a confirmation.

Danaan@kshq.com

Yes, both Aphrael and I are invited to this training session. We are currently researching every possible signification of DTB. A brain storming lunch is schedule at Herkspital Therapy room at noon. See you there.

: )Ann
HerKuleS:Half Man, Half God, All Hero!
Valkyrie of Odin
Reality is life without living
"I've heard that duct tape is man's best friend"-Geirolf Ericsson


"Well, two more trainees. What are you up to boss?" Danaan whispered.


<Amazon's Height apartment complex>

Cokie's cell phone buzzed. "Yeah. I'm listening. Talk fast. I'm on a the construction site. Noon. Herkspital, yes. I'll check here if anyone got one. Bye KalliSta."

"Hey who got an invitation to a training session?" asked Cokie to the Amazons who were putting the finishing touches to the grand hall of the complex.

Tedras who was installing a life size portrait of the Sov, waved. "I got one."

Kevfriend and Iris who were putting ferns in the plant area under the skylight, shook their heads. "Me too." "Yes, what she said" giggled Iris.

SQ and Nball who were decorating for the grand opening ball raised their hands "We got one."

"Okay, well you are all invited to lunch. Herkspital. 12:00. Therapy room. Don't ask me why. I have no idea" said Cokie.

"Did you get one, Cokie" asked Nball.

"Yeach, I did."


Melite was throwing darts on her office wall (gee you got an office Melite? LOL) when Castalia walked in.

"Hi Melite, oh nice... Does Chantal know you are throwing darts at him?" Cas pointed to a GOW board with a dart dead center.

"No, and I rather she did not..." answered Melite. "What brings you here? No trainee to torture?"

"Cute, Melite, cute. You are one to talk. I seem to remember you sending a few trainees to the Herkspital with shattered ear drums..."

"Well, that was only one time..."replied Melite.

"Yeah, the one and only time you did training!" Castalia teased.

"Were you here for something or just passing by and thought gee, let's pick on Melite?"

"No, no. I have a job for you. Did you get one of these?" Cas waved the plain card invitation.

Melite took it from Cas' hand. Examining it. " No. I did not. Training session. 14:00. Strange. Not the usual invitation either. I usually do those. I'll see what I can find out." Melite was already trying to figure out how to get into the administration data bank without getting caught and where in the data bank would she find the info she seek.

"Can you make lunch at Herkspital therapy room. Every Amazons who got one will be there. You can give us the info you find then" said Castalia.

"Yes, I'll be there" Melite was already log in the system and hacking the data base.


Deeva, Baucis and Voluptua were taking their mid morning break in the KSHQ lounge.

Deeva was waving her invitation. "Anyone of you know what that is about? I thought I went thru all the training months ago?"

"Me too. But more training could not hurt" replied Baucis playing with her invitation. She had it cut in the shape of a throwing star in seconds.

"Wow. How did you do that?" asked Voluptua.

"Barbarian Librarian training" answered Baucis. "Special skill of mine. Special training" Baucis smiled at Deeva.

"Oh okay, you win. I'll go" said Deeva.

"Training session, right?" said Angelika. The three Amazons turned and nodded yes.

"Well, there's a lunch information thing at Herkspital therapy room. Do you have any clues as to what DTB stands for?" asked Angelika.

Deeva thought about it for a nanosecond and replied "Dare to blush?!"

Voluptua and Baucis spitted out some of their drinks.

"Oh Deeva, you are such a nut"

"Good one, Deeva. See you all at noon." Angelika started to walk away. "Dare to blush" she mumbled " Really!!! Well... maybe..."


The luncheon

The duct tape trainee's motto : Be prepared, be creative. (excerpts form McZee's The wonderful world of Duct tape) <still inspired by 1001 ways to be romantic>

Be prepared for anything... always have on hand:

*An extra roll of cloth duct tape

*A bottle of champagne (to set the mood <g>)

*A few candles

*Nice lingerie

*CD of romantic music

Be creative... Perfect hiding places for the in case of emergency duct tape roll.

*Under the pillow

*In the refrigerator/freezer

*In your office drawer

*Securely hidden under the cafeteria table

*Under your office couch


Nannyboo had tried to see Chantal but she had been unavailable. Boo had not been able to get around Shait.

"You can't see her. I was left specific instructions to not disturb her. Her office door has been close since this morning. No phone calls, no visitors,. Not even an email. I have no idea if she has anyone with her now."

"Really? You are not a little curious?" Nannyboo knew Shait would be curious at the very least.

"Yes I am. And I've tried to take..." started Shait. "Hey, not fair!"

Nannyboo smiled. "You're right. But I need to know about this." She took out her invitation and gave it to Shait.

"Oh that. What about it?" asked Shait.

"You know about this?" replied Nannyboo.

"Yes. I did them. I also did the booking for the professor and trainer..."

"You did?" Nannyboo was grinning. "Okay, what about a trade? You tell me about this professor and trainer and I'll try to find out who's inside for you?"

"Who says I did not know who would be inside?" Shait had a wicked grin. " I said I did not know if someone was inside with her.."

"You... Okay what's your price?" asked Nannyboo.

"Well, you see I need some vacation time..." started Shait.


Melite had been searching the database for what seemed an eternity. She was now searching through the expenses accounts.

"No. No. Oh, how interesting? Tedras bought eatable paint. I wonder why?" Melite was grinning.

"Cokie's new cell phone bill. Nyxx's surveillance system bil. Surveillance system? I'll have to check that out later. Food bills...lemonade... whipped cream... grapes... the usual. Office supplies bills... film rolls,... printers...lenses... duct tapes... rubber bans.... Wait a minute..." Melite went back a screen. "50 cases of duct tape..." Melite smiled. "Bingo. Gotcha!"


Star knocked on the security office door. "Come on in it's open." Star heard Josée's distinctive voice.

She found Nyxx and Josée pouring over the blue prints of Amazon Height.

"Là, là et là." Josée was pointing to some very specific places on the map.

"Yes, I know. But we can not anticipate every single move they will make" answered Nyxx.

"We have to. That is what is expected of us. And if we don't come up with the right escape routes, Chantal will know. She has an outside source to help her plan this little thing."

"Outside source?" Star asked. "Since when is Ares considered an outside source?"

"Who says it's Ares?" Nyxx answered. "So Star here to get some information out of poor little old us, are you? Please don't torture us. We'll tell you everything you need to know" Nyxx was now smiling.

"As a matter of fact we need your help" said Josée.

"You do?" Star did not like the sound of that.

"Yes we do. We need you has... bait" started Nyxx.


Aphrael and Ann were reading the printouts Denise had left for them. "Can you believe this" Ann asked.

"Yes. Denise can be quite throughout can she?" answered Aphrael.

"How many pages left to read" Ann's voice had a pleading tone. Aphrael looked over. "Oh about 50... Why don't we take this to the luncheon? And get some help with this?"

"Aphrael you are brilliant. Let's do it." Ann was on her feet and grabbing a pile of printouts in a flash. "Coming?"


Herkspital therapy room.

Hilara, Danaan and Freya were putting the last touches to the buffet. "You outdid yourself Hilara. Really. This was so short notice" said Freya.

"It's nothing. I only placed a call to the catering services at Sorbo Mart. And voilà" answered Hilara.

Danaan was sampling the oriental hors d'oeuvres selection. Mini spring rolls, half moon pastries filled with chicken and pork. "These are really good, Hilara."

"Stop eating Danaan. You'll have to burn off the calories..."said KalliSta who just entered the room.

"Hey, any excuse to workout with Sov. I burn a lot of calories that way" replied Danaan with a sly grin.

"I'm sure you do" answered Tedras who was right behind KalliSta. "Oh Hilara you got the Italian hors d'oeuvres I told you about. Bless you..." Tedras picked out one artichoke heart from a tray.

Voluptua, Baucis and Deeva strolled in together giggling. "I tell you it's Dare to bare" was saying Deeva.

"No. I like Double the bondage more" replied Baucis.

"Okay how about Dare to babble?" asked a laughing Voluptua.

"I see you three have been trying DTB combinations" asked Freya.

"Yes but not coming up with very good ones, I'm afraid... funny ones though..." Castalia was smiling and leaning on the door.

"Come on in Cas...So what have you found out?" asked KalliSta.

"Not much. I hope Melite had more luck then me..." replied Castalia.

"Okay, I still say we should put more ferns..." Iris was trying to show Kevfriend how much with a big show of hands.

"How about some Hibiscus Iris? No more ferns. There is enough ferns in the grand hall." Angelika's tone was teasing.

"Hibiscus? Sure what colors? Oh food.. I'm famished..." Iris started to pick out some food from the trays.

"Any colors, Iris, any colors" Kevfriend was smiling.

"I tell you. This is weird, Nball. I still had 5 cases of cloth duct tapes in storage. Someone moved them." SQ was munching on a baby shrimp.

"5 cases!!! What do you do with 5 cases of duct tapes" asked a puzzled Nball.

"That's a very interesting question, Nball and I think Nannyboo and Melite here can maybe shed some light on it" Cokie was signaling her two friend to come in.

Nannyboo and Melite both had Cheshire cat's grin on their faces. Both looked around and Nannyboo said "There is plenty to do with 5 cases of duct tapes..."

"Even more can be done with 50 cases..." ended Melite.

"50 cases of duct tapes!!!" SQ fanned herself.

"Hey SaraQuinn don't zone out on us now..." Cokie help her friend steady herself.

"Do you have any ideas what we could do with 50 cases of duct tapes?" asked a breathless SQ.

"Yes, we do." Nyxx, Josée and Star entered the room." Stalk and bind heroes, demi-gods, Alpha Herks and gods. Have your pick." said Nyxx.

Aphrael and Ann threw the printouts in the air. " Well we definitely don't need these any more. We know what DTB mean, now do we?" asked Aphrael.

"We do?" asked Kevfriend. "DTB that sounds like the textile stock exchange in Germany. Deutsche Terminborse"

"Oh Kevfriend that's funny" said Tedras.

"Thanks. You mean you all did not know about the Duct tape brigade?" said Kevfriend.



In Chantal's office

Chantal was going over and over again the outline plan. She sighed.

"Why do I let myself get into these hair brain ideas?"

"Because you crave the excitement and the challenge" replied a baritone voice.

"How do you know so much?" asked Chantal leaning back and stealing a kiss.

"Because I'm very old and wise" replied the voice.

"Yeah, tell me something I don't know" answered Chantal.


Basic duct tape training introduction


One by one the Amazons were entering the training room. At the entrance Kelly and Astrild were giving out name tags, 2 rolls of duct tapes and a box carefully sealed. "Take a seat on the floor. There is plenty of cushions" said Astrild.

"What no chairs? This is a little cheap ladies!" said Nannyboo.

"Well all the money went for the hiring of the instructors and equipment Boo... and besides it's better you all sit on the floor... believe me" replied Kelly.

"Do you know what's in the box?" Voluptua shook it lightly. No sounds.

"Well it's different from mine" answered Angelika who shook hers and a muffled sounds was heard.

"Interesting.." Castalia was looking around and caught the glimpse of a light brown hair man standing near the side entrance.. "Well, well. The plot thickens..." Cas was now quite happy to attend this training session. "Yes
quite happy..." she whispered.

Astrild clapped her hands and got everyone's attention.

"Hello ladies... thank you for coming..." Snickers, whistles are heard. Astrild gave her friends a mischievous look "Hey if you don't want to learn..." she was interrupted by Kelly coming into view with an Amazons that some in the class already knew.

"MsZee..." SQ whispered "my hero... the things she does with duct tape you would not believe."

Freya, Melite and Angelika had wide grins on their faces. "Now I understand the 50 cases of duct tapes;;;" said Melite.

"Yes.. you know MsZee motto..." replied Freya.

"All together now... There is nothing duct tape can keep together" answered Angelika.

Tedras could not wait any more she tore open her box and let out a high pitched sound and promptly resealed it with her blue metallic duct tape.

Hilara was stunned. "Well, why did you do that? Bizarre..."

Star gave Hilara a push " Stop doing that?"

"Quoi?" replied Hilara.

"That!!!" Star rolled her eyes and gave up.

"Oh that! Okay." smiled Hilara. "But I have to practice you know. I have a test tonight."

"A test? What kind of a test? The French kissing kind?" asked Nannyboo.

"Peut-être..." Hilara just let her friends' imagination run loose.

"I guess, I'll have to check into getting some French lessons of my own..." replied Nannyboo.

Tedras who was now holding her box tightly in her arms chimed "Well I speak English, Italian and French. It's very handy. And I've begun Valusian's lessons lately."

"Valusian.. you got Kull to teach you with his tongue.. err I mean his native tongue.." Iris was blushing. "Oh you know what I mean..."

"Yeah, we did Iris...I'm sure Kull gives great lessons with his tongue... "replied Danaan with a wicked smile.

Iris blushed a little more.

"Stop teasing Iris. So, Tedras, how would you rate Kull's teaching techniques?" asked KalliSta.

"What?" Tedras was a little out of it.

"Okay, c'est assez. What's in the box?" Hilara was now more than curious but she was stopped by Kelly introducing the instructor.

"Okay everyone. I believe you know MsZee, she'll be your instructor this afternoon. She's one of the world up most expert on the uses of duct tapes. So MsZee, you have the floor..."

Kelly took her rolls of duct tapes (a nice shade of purple btw) and sat next to Castalia.

"Purple duct tapes? I got purple duct tapes too. Do we have the same target? I wonder..." whispered Castalia. Kelly leaned and answered Castalia " Not quite, you get the younger version..." Castalia's eyes lit up. " Oh oh .. I
get it.. hunting season is open..."

"Yep, you got it... hunting season is open.." Kellly replied with a wicked gleam in her eyes.


Basic duct tape training...let your imagination do the walking.

MsZee sat down in between Cokie and Ann, looked around. Everyone of her students stopped toying with their boxes or rolls of tapes and became very attentive.

"Well I see I will not have to shout... Nice change of pace from the last seminar..." MsZee started. "Now the first rule of duct tape is «I've never came across a roll of duct tape I could not use.»"

"Really?" asked Kevfriend taking a closer look at her orange rolls.

"Really. Even the most basic kind can be use in a pitch" replied MsZee.

MsZee continued "Duct tape is a set of mind and practice makes perfect. I'm here to help you give free reign to your imagination. The ABC of what duct tape works better under water and so on will be given to you by the next
trainer. I might even stay and learn a few new twists myself." MsZee smiled.

"There is a few golden rules you need to know and follow. But this is an interactive class you know so your input and reactions are definitely wanted." MsZee winked at Deeva who was using one of her white duct tape roll
has a bracelet.

"So first rule: Be prepared... always have a roll around. Be creative.. any situation can be turned into a duct tape occasion."

"Like what?" asked Nball.

"Be prepared, create a duct tape closet or drawer or box., where you put your various duct tape bought on sale or in buck and in your cases here in SorboLand, I recommend that option, special order duct tape type with hearts
for Valentine's Day, green for Saint-Patrick's day. And what would be the reason to stock and save those item you ask?" said MsZee.

"I was gonna ask that very question" giggled Nyxx.

"Well, never again will you have to rush around at the last minute for that very very special duct tape..." answered MsZee

":Like that glow in the dark special order 3 months back order I tried to get last Valentine's day..." Astrild stopped suddenly and looked around. "Did I say that out loud?"

"Yes you did, dear. And do tell what did you intend to play at with that intriguing duct tape.. Hide and seek..." started Danaan.

"Identify the body part that glows..." added KalliSta grinning.

"Or better yet... grab the body part that glows..." Freya added for the kill. (Note of the author: These three should never ever be allowed to band together. They are consider a lethal weapon in all the land)

MsZee watched the replies fly. It was like watching Ping-Pong but much much more fun.

"So if I understand. I have to be prepared whenever the inspiration strikes me?" asked Castalia.

"Exactly. You need to be prepared for instant hassle free duct taping. You can buy fancy and pre-decorated duct tapes to make it special but a plain white cloth tape is never out of date" replied MsZee.

"So if I apply this I should always carry duct tape..." started Castalia.

"You do anyway, Cas. So it's not something you'll have to get used to" said Star laughing.

"As a matter of fact, I think I started the trend and everyone jumped on the train.." Kelly added.

"Well if it was good enough for you to snare Herk, Kelly. It was good enough for me to catch SHerk" said Melite chuckling.

"Here you go... you are already in the right mind set now the second rule: Surprises. Surprises are an integral part of the duct tape experience. The everyday and ordinary can be made into the unexpected and special. Surprises
come in all shapes... sizes and in a rainbow of color duct tapes."

"Yes, what's with the color coded tapes? Pink? I got pink duct tape rolls? Who else has pink?" asked a curious Melite.

Silence. Everyone looked at their own color coded duct tapes. No other pink. Some yellow, some different shades of blue, a few gold, some white, red, black, purple...

Hilara giggled. "Oh, look I have a French duct tape roll. Bleu, blanc, rouge. Just like the flag."

Nyxx smiled and rolling her transparent duct tape asked "So any guesses has to what the colors mean or to whom it belong?"

Eyes lit up and a quick survey lead to amazons teaming up by duct tape roll colors.

"So what does the color code mean? " Voluptua was looking at Kelly and Astrild intensely and waited for an answer.

"Well. You'll see. Surprises. Remember. Surprises are an integral par of the duct tape experience."

MsZee laughed. "Good recovery, Astrild. They are nice surprises I assure you."

"But how do you sneak up on, let's say GHerk?" asked Ann. "He is a god, you know, he usually surprises us" added Ann.

"You have to be more devious Ann" giggled Danaan.

"And we all know that *devious* is your middle name Danaan." KalliSta stated.

"Yeah, more like wacko..." replied Freya.

"You mean devious, mischievous, loony, totally crazy, all around unhibited. Right?" asked Melite.

"Like I said... wacko" Freya laughed.

Danaan grinned " Well, when you got it, flaunt it."

"Exactly" answered MsZee. "Surprises can be small or big. Best advice I ever got. «Start small and built». So I'm sure you can and will come up with some incredible ideas. Which brings me to the third rule : little things mean a lot."

"Like what?" asked Josée. "Give us some examples."

"Yes. Examples are good." giggled Nball.

MsZee smiled. "Okay. Examples but I'll add the fourth and fifth rules if you don't mind. One is «Actions speak louder than words» and the other is «It's not what you do but how you do it». And to illustrate this, I suggest you
all open your box. I know some of you already have." Tedras became bright red. "And then we can have a brain storming session about examples."

"Good. I finally get to see what's in your box Tedras. Fess up." said a smiling Hilara.

Tedras carefully opened her box and look at the content as if it was about to explode. Slowly she took out two paint brushes and a jar of liquid chocolate.

"Oh my!!!" whispered Freya.

"Ditto sister" replied KalliSta.

"My brain just went into overdrive and I can't stop it.." whimpered Danaan.

"And that's a bad thing because..." replied Deeva smiling.

"Because you have never there to clean up after one of her overdrive brain schemes dear" said Nyxx. "You should have seen the cleaner's bill for the couch and carpet in the conference room."

Danaan's left eyebrow raised up. "If I remember correctly you didn't complaint at the time. GHerk was quite helpful!"

Nyxx chuckled. "Yeah, I remember dear, you can add disaster prone to your middle names."

"Hey! How come I never heard of that story?" asked Star.

"Yeah!" said Aphrael.

"Not fair!" shouted Melite.

"No, no, no..." Danaan shook her head.

"No, I won't, I won't, I won't" Nyxx said whining. "No way I'm telling *that* story. My lips are sealed and I've gone through cover operation training, so don't even think about trying anything.

KalliSta and Freya looked at each other. "Well you have never gone through the Twisted sisters school of torture.. err.. interrogation, dear."

"Huh, uh, stop that right here...because we will be here for months.." warned Josée. "But when you proceed with the torture.. err. Interrogation I want to be there..."

Nyxx gasped. "You.. you... "

"Hey.. you learn where you can..." replied Josée smiling.

Nyxx decided it was time for a diversion. "What's in *your* box, Josée?"

Josée rolled her eyes. "You can run my friend but you can't hide forever. We 'll get to the bottom of *that* story." She opened her box and she was speechless, stunned.

"Wow. Josée. Speechless. Only Kull or Herk can to that without using their lips. Sov likes to use his lips" said Deeva with a grin. Josée without a word slowly took out a gun, a paint ball gun with red paint ammunitions.

"Oh, oh, oh... Now someone knows you way to well my friend" Nyxx was laughing softly.

Josée was mumbling to herself. "Okay I see I have to secure my private mail.. Gee!.. This is like sooo embarrassing."

"Oh, Sov has been bragging again...Oups!" Nannyboo put her hand on her mouth.

"Boo, sometimes your mouth has a mind of its own." said Deeva.

"Tell me about it" Boo chuckled.

"Or let Sov tell everybody about it" laughed Melite.

"Oh Melite you should talk... Sov has been remarking on your talented mouth..." replied Nannyboo.

"Really? He has?" Melite had a devilish grin on her face. "Well, well..." Melite looked smug.

"Yeah, he was telling Ares about it..." Star announced.

Melite choked. "What!!!!!!" Looking at her pink duct tape she started to quiver. "Oh no please let it be anybody. I'll even hunt down Salmoneus. Anybody but his walking bad attitude..." Melite's voice was now pleading .

"Don't worry, Melite. I really don't think Pink is Ares' color. Unless Kelly wants to get locked up for days in one of his temple with handcuffs and... Wait maybe you should worry..." Star had a teasing gleam in her eyes.

"Oh man!"

MsZee was enjoying the play by play interaction between her students. Clapping her hands, she got everyone's attention. "Now everyone. We will do a round up and see what's in everybody boxes. And anyone can offer ideas on
how to use the equipment. Who wants to go first?"

Danaan let out a cry. "Hey. I'll go first. No problem." Tearing up her box, she held out three grapefruits.

"Grapefruits... " Danaan was a little puzzled.

"What's your duct tape color, Danaan?" asked KalliSta.

"Yellow" Danaan looked at Astrild.

Astrild smiled. Nannyboo and Nball were intensely interested both had yellow duct tapes too. "Well you'll need cunning, determination , persistence, a little luck to chase and catch that one.. He's one of the most difficult to
get your hands on..." Astrild stopped and waited.

"Oh, come on, give it up. Inquiring minds want to know, Astrild... I'll burst if you don't tell us right now..." Deeva was tapping her foot. "Herk. Yellow is Herk." Astrild announced.

Angelika let out a whistle. "Boy you guys have your work cut out for you."

Danaan's mind was kicked into hyperdrive. "Grapefruits and Herk. Oh the possibilities are endless. You know once you have him with his hands duct taped behind his back you can hand feed him, lip feed him, lick the juice
off his chin, the juice that dripped on his neck, chest, lick and bite his nipples..." Danaan was on a roll totally unaware of the effect her plans were having on her sisters..

"Is it hot in here all of a sudden?" asked Cokie. "Where's the ice" she moaned..."

The sounds of boxes being ripped open was heard... and Hilara shouted.. "Hey I have ice in my box..."


In Chantal's office

"Don't confuse my distaste of some of your methods with a lack of respect for your ability. But I think your plan sucks!" Chantal was trying to keep calm.

"How on earth are we to get all of these... hum... volunteers... to play along and further more they are not idiots they will know something is up. Now, Oh Mighty One, tell me how are we gonna get them on the night of the
13th to play along." Chantal stopped and stared at the man sprawled on the other side of the desk.

"You really underestimate their intellect love. Of course they'll know something is afoot. I mean a goat would know. That's the beauty of the plan. It's so transparent, it's fool proof. And besides the lure is going to be so
appealing they won't be able to resist."

"But of course *you* would not fall for something like this?" Chantal asked with a smile.

"Of course not. And I would come prepared for anything and everything." Methos rose from his chair. "So I'll be there ready for anything and everything. You can even hunt me love. I can even promise, I'll make it easy for you."

Chantal watched the man close the door then mumbled "We will see about that." And she twirled her roll of duct tape.


In the classroom

While her students were opening their box MsZee had a projection screen pull down and fired up her laptop. "Now presentation is 90% of the battle. Pay attention. Kill the lights..."

MsZee rubbed her hands. "Now this is the what not to do section or otherwise known as the "Lame excuse department!" Sneers and smirks were heard.

"Lame excuse number one : I DON'T HAVE TIME. This is typical of the overworked, overstressed amazon. Horse manure! You have 1,440 minutes every single day. The same as everybody else. How you use those minutes is up to you. If a little duct tape fantasy with your alpha du jour doesn't rank up there with your work, the internet or your favorite TV show.. Okay I might let it slide if it's Herkules, save yourself the trouble of even thinking
about duct tape.

Whispers. Then a question. "Does that mean I can go into the KSHQ Cafeteria during my afternoon break and... well duct tape ChefHerk to a chair and share my yogurt with him?" SQ asked innocently.

"That's exactly what it means. It will relax you and you will get a nutritious snack. And as a bonus, you will go back to work re-energized and ready to tackle any crisis." MsZee had a wide smile. "I know I haven't found
anything else that works better to relieve stress. I personally use my lunch break. I disconnect the phone, the email and take out the ice cream and strawberries from the fridge.. and after securing my alpha with duct tape on
the wall..."

Groans and sighs rose from the class. "Oh sorry.. lost track here.. too much information.. let's get back to the lame excuse, shall we?" MsZee presented the next graphic. "Lame excuse number two : I FORGOT. We are allowed to
forget occasionally but not consistently. If forgetting is a habit, you are sending a clear signal to your alpha that he is just not that important to you to share your duct tape experience with. If he is really *not* that important to you why not be truthful enough and tell him instead of making excuses and letting both of you down. You might need a breather from duct tape. There is no shame is knowing when to pull away. You can plunge back with renewed vigor sometime later."

"So it would be okay, to say, put on hold that Jungle kidnapping, save by duct tape scenario complete with cameo paint and green fatigue if I think I can't put the energy and pizzazz into it?" Castalia was frowning a little.

"Cameo paint? Green fatigue? Jungle? I didn't know you had a Jane/Tarzan obsession Cas?" Freya asked with a twinkled in her eyes.

"Hey you don't mention my jungle thing and I won't mention your ear thing." Cas lightly punched Fre.

"Girls no hitting in my class." MsZee stared at them. "To answer your question yes Cas. If you think you can't commit to the duct tape experience you better put some of it on hold. I have this whip and leather fantasy with
this incredible sword and whip master I have been trying pull off... alas.. too little time and well he is highly in demand." MsZee sighed. "Lame excuse number 3... Any guesses?" MsZee asked.

Hilara raised her hand. "I don't have that problem. You know Robert being French. But I think I have heard "Duct tape is not romantic" a lot."

"Exactly. Good answer. Who decided and made themselves Zeus anyway?" MsZee gave Hilara a thumb ups. "Have you read it somewhere? Did you hear it from Zeus himself? Did you see it in a movie?" MsZee asked her class.

Melite just giggled. "Well if they thought that binding Herkules in the first film would not make us swoon I guess they missed."

"Oh the binding scene with the gag.. oh I looove that scene." Angelika sighed. "And when she asks him to wash her feet.." Drool started to form on Nball's, Cokie's and Josée's mouths.

"Well we don't have to be careful.. I mean the chest hair and arm's hair.. you have to remember to apply oil or aloes lotion so it won't hurt when you pull the duct tape off.." Boo answered.

"Yes. Good point. When clothing is optional you gotta have lotion near. Sensitive skins and all.." Cas replied.

"And you would know all about sensitive skin wouldn't you Cas?" Fre needled.

"Yes lotions are a must when applying duct tape to skin. But playing nurse afterwards can be rewarding too. Who says duct tape can't be romantic?" MsZee concluded.

"Now last lame excuse : Being a duct tape addict will cost me a fortune!" MsZee waited for reactions.

"As the Beatles say Money can't buy me love" started Astrild

"But duct tape is not expensive.." added Danaan.

"Yes and if your alpha only wants the very hefty price tag tapes.. it's time you change alpha..." replied Iris.

"Amen to that. And SHerk has really simple tastes." KalliSta ended.

"Keeping it simple is the best strategy to stay away from the lame excuse. Lower you inhibitions. Be spontaneous. Be silly. Be creative. Being a real duct tape fan is a little like being slightly, enjoyably insane. It lowers your inhibitions, causes you to act a little bit silly sometimes, okay most of the time, and it gives you the impetus to act impetuous. Not that you need a lot of hints." MsZee looked at her students.

"You want to keep your relationship with your alpha, your demi-god, your god or your muse fresh and vital. Live as duct tape lovers. You can recapture the fire, the passion and the excitement. Not that I assume it has gone
away. What you need maybe is a kick-in-the-pants so I dare you .. take a risk : use duct tape." MsZee stopped.

Applauds erupted. The amazons were raved up. They all took a lot at the content of their boxes and smiled. The afternoon practical class promised to be lively.

The end of Chronicle 1.

Chantal
KSHQ manager
EOW

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