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TALES FROM THE HERKSPITAL
HerK Withdrawal Syndrome Cure
by Freya, Fantasy Angel
Freya jumped back a step as the door to Ares' castle swung open, even before she had a chance to knock upon it. She nervously (yeah right) stepped into the dark entrance hall and looked around. The door swung shut with a loud thud. She heard Ares yell "Enter my sweet!" as she made her way into his chamber.
Ares, half reclined upon his throne, growled as she approached, "What brings you here my pet? So far away from your champion? Are you bored with him already? Can he not keep you satisfied??"
Freya mumbled, "I have a favor to ask, I'm not that far, of course not, OF COURSE NOT!!" as she stamped her feet. Ares waved his hand in the air and Freya found herself sitting upon his lap, his hands being a little too friendly with her bodice.
"A favor? You have a favor to ask of me"? he grinned, "do tell what I, the black sheep of the family, can do for you". Freya leaned close and whispered something in his ear.
"No, you cannot! Ares yelled, suddenly standing up, dumping Freya on the floor. "Absolutely not, I won't allow it!"
Freya, brushing herself off, stood on tiptoe and whispered something else in his ear, and dropped a few names of some lusty amazons.
"Really, she does what??" With what?? Two of them?? Hmmm, you drive a hard bargain, but you make it very interesting" he replied with an evil gleam in his eye. "Okay, you can...but only for one day. I'll make arrangements to have it delivered to your hut".
The next day found Freya busily unwrapping a rather large object in her hut. She found some hastily written instructions and studied them closely. She grinned when she saw Herk walk up the path to her hut and ran to let him in.
"I got here as fast as I could" he said with a worried look creasing his forehead. "What's wrong in Sorboland that you wanted me back here so quickly? Is it serious?"
"Yes, it is very serious. Have you heard of HWS? The amazons are suffering badly from it. Its one of the worse cases I've ever seen" Freya replied.
"HWS?? No, I don't think I've heard of it....what is it? What can I do?"
"HWS--Herkules Withdrawal Syndrome, and you are doing enough just by being here."
"I don't understand...."
"The amazons are suffering because they haven't been seeing you Herk...they've been seeing everything else... talking pigs, Auto and Iolaus in drag, Eddie Munster in drag" (lol, this is in reference to Discord).
"Talking pigs?? Iolaus in a dress you say?" Herk scratched his chin and grinned.
"Come on, quickly...into my bedroom, I see Melite walking up my path" said Freya as she shoved Herk into the room just as Melite knocked on her door.
"Come in" Freya called, and Melite stepped into the hut....her skin was pale, her hands trembled, dark circles were etched under her eyes. Melite rushed up to Freya and grabbed her braids. "Where is he??" she shouted. "You told me HE'D be here! You told me I'd have a private date with him, just me, didn't you?"
"Yes Melite, just you and Herk".
"Then WHY, when I passed Calico, she told me she had a date with him?" Melite was starting to foam at the mouth and Freya gently guided her to a chair. "Here, sit here, and I'll go get the big guy for you, okay? You have a date with him, the only thing I ask is that you tell me where you are going, and you have to know that the date will be over at midnight".
"FINE, FINE, FINE....go...go get him...Fine, I'll tell you where we are going...go.....NOW!"
Freya inched the door open to her bedroom to find Herk staring at the big object in the middle of the room. "Um, what is this Freya?" he asked, a look of concern on his face. "It has Ares' marking upon it".
"Shhh, never mind...its nothing...just a little, well....its a cure you see for HWS...all you have to do is stand right here (as she positioned his body) and then I do this (as she pushed a button).....
<whirrrrrr, cachink........whooosssh...a puff of smoke>
When the smoke cleared, Freya looked up and saw two Herk smiling down at her. "Great! It worked!!" she exclaimed as she took the cloned Herk by the hand and escorted him into the room where Melite waited. The transformation of Melite as she watched Herk walk towards her was nothing short of a miracle. Her skin, once blotchy, cleared and became radiant. Her eyes began to sparkle. She stood straight and a dazzling smile almost blinded him. She grabbed his hand away from Freya and held it to her breast. Then she kissed each and every finger (sucking on a few here and there!) She started pulling him towards the door and Freya had to throw herself in front of it to block her way.
"Melite!!" Freya yelled, as she snapped her fingers in front of Melite's eyes. "Melite, do you remember your promise?? You have to tell me where you are going!"
Melite, her eyes glazing over as she stood staring at Herk's chest, came to long enough to answer "the hot tubs, we are going to the hot tubs."
Freya, glancing out her front window just in time to see Calico stumbling up the path, quickly shoved Melite and Herk out the back door.
"Hi Calico" Freya said as she opened the door. "Poor kitty, you look terrible...are you okay?"
"Nuthin' is wrong with me that a little Herk can't cure" Calico replied. "Herk is here, isn't he?"
"Yup, he's here....just two things you should know, okay? One, you have to tell me where you are going on your date, and two....your date has to end by midnight"....
"Midnight huh? What if it doesn't?? Does Herkie turn into a pumpkin?" the kitty snickered.
Freya just smiled, told Calico to sit down and make herself comfy, and made her way back into her bedroom where Herk waited for her, not at all too happy.
"What is this machine? What are you doing with it? Why did I just watch myself walk out that door??" he asked.
"Um, Herk...look, this was Discord’s present to Ares....something to let him make all the armies he wanted, he calls it a Areox machine. SimpleHerk watched him play with it one day and told me about it. It’s just what the amazons need to cure them of their HWS."
"How can this machine help the amazons?" Nothing good ever comes from anything from Ares" Herk replied, a frown creasing that perfect forehead.
"Well, its like this....you stand there (Freya again positions his body) and I push this little button and...
<whirrrr, cachink, chug a chug a....poof>
The smoke clears and Freya finds herself grinning stupidly at two Herks. The original Herk slaps his forehead with his hand and yells, "Freya, you did it again!" as Freya takes the Herkacopy out the door and into the waiting arms of Calico.
"Here ya go Kitty, take good care of him! Where are you going??" she asks as she whips her notebook out of her pocket and takes the pencil from behind her ear.
"Um, we're going to the mountain lake, I've packed a picnic lunch of grapes and lemonade."
Freya writes under Melite-hot tub, Calico-mountain lake. "Have a great time!! But here, use my back entrance, its much quicker!! she says as she spies Andulasia hurrying up her walkway.
She throws open her door and Andi rushes in. "Is he here?? Is he mine?? She grabs Freya's hands and spins her around. "Please say yes!! I just saw Shauna and she and Angelika were fighting over who had a date with Herk today. I didn't tell them I did....but I rushed over here as quick as I could!"
"Yes, calm down...yes, he's here, and yes you have a date....just settle down...go pour yourself a cup of tea and decide where you are taking him...you must tell me before you leave."
"Why?"
"Um, because...in case someone needs him...I have to know where to find him."
"But I don't want anyone to find us...." Andi pouted.
"Andi...I promise...I'll only tell if it is a life or death emergency, okay??"
Andi slowly shook her head up and down....and repeated "Only if its life or death!!"
Freya excused herself and hurried into the bedroom. Herk was sitting on her bed and he refused to move. "Freya, you can't do this...the world can't have multiple Herks walking around". (author's note: wow, can you imagine if there were??)
"Herk...don't worry....the Herkacopies only will last until midnight. This is the only way I could think of that gives all the amazons some time with you. I made two happy and on the way to recovery already. Pulllleeezzze Herk???? Andi is waiting outside, she really needs you.... pullleeezzzee???"
"Andi? Herk asked with a smile. Ahh, the memories he has with Andi.... "Until midnight?? Again, the memories of what Andi can do makes him smile a little bigger. "But what if a Herkacopy runs into another Herkacopy??"
"Don't worry, I'm keeping track of where the amazons are taking you...um him,...you...whatever...I won't let them go to the same place".
"Oh okay" he sighs as he positions himself (drats!) in front of the Arerox.
<whirrr, cachinky, poof>
Andi's eyes light up as she sees Herk walk over to her. He kneels in front of her and takes her hands in his, then he presses them against his chest where she can feel his heart pound.She spies Freya holding her pad and pencil and mumbles, "We're going horseback riding...in the wildflower meadow...bareback" she adds with a grin.
Andi and Herk had just left when Freya saw Becky and Cokie pushing and shoving each other as they each tried to be first at her door. "Whoa!" Freya cried, putting her hands out to stop the pushing. "One at a time!"
"I was here first!!" cried Cokie, shoving Becky backwards.
"Only because you tripped me!" retorted Becky.
"Cokie! You didn't!! Did you??" Freya asked, trying to keep the grin off her face.
Cokie's cheeks turned a bright red and she replied "well, it was an accident, really it was..."
"Cokie....you stay out here for a couple of minutes okay?" Freya said as she winked at Cokie. "I have to show Becky something, but I'll be right back, okay?? <wink, wink> Cokie, catching on quickly, nodded and said "Oh okay, Freya <wink wink> I'll wait right here for you".
Becky, looking back and forth between the two of them, shrugged her shoulders and stepped into Freya's hut. Once she thought Cokie couldn't hear her, she said "Good thinking Freya...making her wait outside like that....Now where's HERK!!!???"
"He's here...he's here...just wait here a sec while I go get him."
Freya hurried into her room as Herk glanced up at her and said "again?"
"Phew, that was a close one Herk...we have to work fast...I have two amazons outside waiting for their private date with Herk and I'm sure more are coming soon!"
Herk stood in his spot and Freya hit the button twice.
<whirrrr.....ca chink a chink.....whirrrr.....POOF!>
When the smoke cleared, there were 3 Herks waiting for Freya. Hmmm, she thought to herself, I could get used to this!
Taking one Herk by the hand she led him out to where Becky was waiting. Becky jumped right into his arms, wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a great big kiss which Herk returned with great passion. After a few minutes, Freya cleared her throat and they both looked at her a little surprised to find her there.
"Destination?" she inquired.
"Umm, the beach....definitely the beach" replied Becky. Freya led Herk still carrying Becky in his arms to the back door, rushed back in and grabbed the other Herkacopy out of the bedroom just as Cokie barged in.
"I'm tired of waiting!!" she started to bluster....then saw Herk smiling at her. Turning all coy, she batted her lashes at him and cooed..."oh Herk, you are here...big guy....for me? Shucks...." Herk walked over to her and taking a rose out of some flowers Freya had on her table, he wove it into Cokie's hair, nuzzling her neck all the time.
Freya quickly wrote in her book Becky-beach, Cokie-Rose Garden.
All afternoon Freya hurried to answer her door, make a Herkacopy, and keep track of everyone's dates.
Hestia-Dite's Clam Shell (closed for privacy)
Ann-Waterfall
Voluptua-private shady forest glade
Shauna--row boat in middle of lake
Angelika--5 star hotel with room service
Josee-Under the Boardwalk
Hearing another knock on her door, she called "come in" and turned around to see which amazon it was this time. The Sov stood there glaring at her. "Um, hiya baby" Freya cooed...."what brings you here?"
"What in Tartarus is going on in here? All day I've watched beautiful ladies enter your hut and leave with that milk toast Hercules. Don't they want me??"
Freya only giggled and led him by the hand to her bedroom.
"Oh no you don't" he said...."you are not going to make me forget my question by making sweet love to me. I demand to know what's going on in here!!"
Freya pushed him into the room where HerK was sound asleep on her bed. The Sov stood in the middle of the room eyeing both the sleeping hero and the odd looking machine. Freya sneaked up behind him and positioned his body just so. "Stay there a sec hunk, will ya? I've got to push this little button".
<whirrr, kachink....puff>
Two Sovs....
<push, push,> <whirrrr, kabang, cachug....poooooof!>
6 Sovs...
<Freya rubs her hands and laughs a little maniacally>
<push, push, push> <whirrrr, kachunk, kabang, sputter>
12 Sovs!!
<Freya looks around the room to make sure no one is watching her>
<push, push, pushpushpushpushpushpushpushpush...springsprang...the button breaks off and bounces across the room!>
28 Sovs are standing around the room as Freya scrambles between their legs searching for the button.
The end.
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